Parenting skills: Pick up your battles.

Dear Diary,

I've been thinking a lot lately. I don't know why but my brain keep on thinking and thinking until I can't sleep. In facts, due to the haze (thanks ah my country) I feel so lethargic and my throat dry all the time despite having 2 litre of water a day. Plus insomnia. Falling sick is indeed inevitably. 

I know I have to write it down my thoughts here otherwise these thoughts kept on rewind (like a broken records) in my mind so! Do you ever heard, good writing is clear thinking made visible.  How to write if your thinking still full of muddle? 

How many times I've been using writing as a form of therapy to sort up some of my thoughts and voices out opinions and stuffs. 

Enough for the long winded intro! 

So!

I was stumbled with this subject, parenting skills. 

I've been a mother for a 8 year girl and still counting. Indeed, the parenting skill of having a baby, the parenting skill of having a toddler, and the parenting skill of having teenagers, are completely different. 

Baby only needs milk and solid food to survive. Seriously, maybe a couple of Fisher Price toys and flash cards will be sufficient enough to entertain them. The little brain inside is like white canvas which will absorb tons of vocabulary, emotions, and behaviour which leads to habit so watch out your tongue in front of your kids, parents! 

Having a toddler, well, Ever heard about Terrible Two before? Luckily mine was not that bad, Giselle still throw fits occasionally. One minute she's happy, now she's crying, and another minute she's upset, and those vicious cycle repeats by its nature. For me, "Time Out" is the best way to calm those tantrums scenario. And another method is to teach them tons of vocabulary and the skill of how to communicate nicely. The reason why Terrible Two is terrible is because they are feeling something but don't know how to express their feeling to the lack of words. So they're feeling frustrated, helpless, and restless. 

Ok, when my girl goes to school, she has to learn the skill of socialising. How to make friends and teachers happy, how to fit in the community so that she won't be in other's people way, and stuff like that. That's where the bullying coming from. Bullying is a form of insecurity. Do you realise that the bully is someone who don't have self-esteem so they picked someone who is weaker than them?

I don't really have life example here coz my girl still P2 and I believe she inherits Ah Lian's spirit from me. I think I'm the only mother who teach, if someone punch you, just punch back LOL what a bad example. Ok joking aside, to counter to this bullying at school, I believe parents and teachers have to work hand in hand, to treat all students equally, fairly as much as possible. 

For me, no matter how old my baby, it's still important to engage her in the deep communication and try to listen to her story. I always ask a lot of questions, like really a lot, just to understand her feeling. Ok, I confess that sometime I didn't have patience to listen to her, always tend to giving solutions quickly prior to her sharing. God, please mold me on this area. 

Let's side track a bit, shall we?  

Doing parenting, it's about when to pick up your battles with your kid. 

For example, I think it's not worth it to pick up battles with Giselle in choices of:

- Choosing clothes. Weekends, she can choose to wear dress/ shirt that she likes.

- Choosing activity during weekend. She can play arcade, watch movie, or even...

- Snacking, of course after meal time la

- Buying books ( I believe the love of reading starts from young)

The things that worth the battles:

- Asking her to finish vegetables during meal time. Every single time.

- To persuade (sometime force) to go Sunday school

- Do homework

- Read bible

So if you can see, since our kids is still under our authority. As parents, we have the rights to make decisions on the important things (religion, school, etc)
And we can leave the not so important things or not so urgent thing's decision to them.
In fact, by giving them a freedom to choose, it will exercise them to make little decision so next time, they know how to handle the bigger one.

Like this then life's will be easier. hahaha.

Ok last one, I've been reading books to prep myself to parents a teenager. Indeed it ain't easy since puberty will come around during that period of time. Even in Inside out movie (good movie! you should watch it!) there is this puberty button LOL it was so funny! 

I think the parenting skills of teenager will be totally new for me. Be friends with your kids and your kid's friends, giving freedom and control occasionally. Listen to them. Understand them. Support them. Well, the list goes on and on and I'm scared but I believe with God's strength, nothing is impossible. 

Phew I didn't know parenting such a tedious job! But seeing her grow day by day is indeed such a joy!


So all is good...Ahh I feel much better now. 

-Deb-

My Pet Peeves

I found this draft in my blog since 2013.

When I read it, I found myself an immature bitch who thinks that the world only revolves around me. 

Shameful!

OMG and my writing skills were sucks too.

Double shameful!

It never occurred to me that some of these pet peeves were and are still haunting me till these days.  

Of course I LOL-ed and redo this post before publishing it… But first put disclaimer yo!

Disclaimer: These pet peeves are entirely my own and genuine opinion. There’s never been my intention to offend certain group of people regardless of race, nationality, and gender.

You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but well, this is my blog so I can write whatever I want!

Read it or leave it. J

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Ok for those who stay? Let’s start, shall we?

1. I hate smokers. Cigarettes scent magically triggers migraine in my brain and of course, ruin my makeup/ dress/ mood for the whole entire day. I won’t let them (and their Cigarettes butt) ruins my day
2. I hate two-face people. I had once a friend, who always cannot make up her mind and keep on changing minds or opinion.  Oh dear! Not only I feel pressure in front of her but I also feel so little and cautious to voice out my opinion when she’s around. Just in case, one minute she agrees with me, another minute, she against me.
3. I hate laid back people

Dearest spoon-fed and laid back people in the world.

God must have His reasons when He created Larry Page and Sergey Brin

If you don’t know them, please use their creation, Google.

Ok. Thank you.

4. I hate people who judges.

Sorry to write a little bit of personal here, the reason why I left my previous Indo group due to many reasons. One of the reasons is because, too many politics and dramas…My life’s so much drama already and I don’t wish to get involved, please. So I stopped going there and start to join Adult service instead.Which turned out to be the best decision in my life. I can attend adult service, Giselle can attend Sunday school, No more drama. LOL. Win Win situation.

5. I hate people who don’t listen.

Do you know that God gives us 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen more and talk less!?

Ok, now you know.

Sorry, too much of negativity on my post here, I need to balance out by listening to worship songs.

Next post will be how to tackle negative thoughts (by using bible verses ya!)

Thanks for reading.  

Bye!

-Deb-

Brite vs Pearlie White Retainer's cleaner

It's been a month plus since I took out my braces.

It's been a good month!

Hallelujah!

To avoid relapse, the dentist advised me to put on retainers 24/7 for six months and after that only night retainers for the rest of my life. And it's not cheap though! cost $300 for a pair of retainers. 

The difference between day and night retainers are:

Day retainers:

1. Thinner and more fragile
2. Easier to remove
3. Thus it's not so obvious when I'm wearing day retainers

Night retainers:

1. Thicker and less fragile

2. Difficult to remove.

3. Thus it's pretty obvious when I'm wearing night retainers. Heck I can't even close my mouth! 

So since it's not cheap and it's become my daily routine. I need to take care of my retainers and keep it clean. I heard poor hygiene will make retainers turn yellowish and *opss* smelly. 

I bet people will turn off when seeing nice straight teeth but yellowish and smelly!? 

So much thing for the sake of beauty!

So I used these 2 brands for maintaining my braces. 

 Brite Retainer. You can't find this in Singapore. 

Bought via Amazon/ Fishpond with 7-14 days delivery. 

Total damage $25+

Put the retainers in the container, add water, and put tablet effervescent it'll be dissolve in the water. 

Brite Retainers dissolve into blue colour.

Wait for 15-20 mins, rinse, and ta-dah....new, fresh, and smells good!

  

 Pearlie White 

Ok this is denture cleaner not retainer cleaner but it serves the same purposes!

Sold in Singapore. 

Total damage $7+

Put the retainers in the container, add water, and put tablet effervescent it'll be dissolve in the water. 

 Pearlie White dissolve into green colour.

Wait for 15-20 mins, rinse, and ta-dah....new, fresh, and smells good!

I heard using this brand will turn retainers into yellowish since it's not specifically for retainers...but so far so good, my braces still as white transparent as before!

So if you ask me, I'd still prefer Brite but since it's not sold in Singapore  and price wise is quite expensive....I'll stick to Pearlie White for the time being!

Oh ya it's recommended to use this on daily basis but I used alternate days.

Ok, that's all for the review.

Thanks for reading.

-Deb-

Instax Mini 50s

Yippie! My new Camera!

This year I was thinking to buy a new camera, I was aiming these selfie cameras but the price is just ridiculously expensive…And I just realized I can’t afford to bring my gigantic cameras to the outing and found myself always using my phone camera LOL. 

So my love with camera had been awakening again since retreat last month.

During retreat, we have this idea (Thanks Jesus, to give us this awesome idea!) of snapping photos with Instax camera and exchange the instax photos plus encouragement words with each other. The committee gave each of us an album. And we need to snap picture one on one and store all the photos in the album. 1 photo on the left and 1 encouragement/affirmation card on the right. Something like this.

Yep, so after 2 days journey of borrowing other people’s Instax camera. My hands itch so badly and decided to buy one, LOL.

Giselle happened to have Mini 7s and brought it during Zoo trip. So we’re comparing between Mini 7s and Mini 50S

Here is my finding:

Mini 7S:

•   Cheaper but it's older version
•   Bulkier, Hipster looking     
•  Manually setting, based on the lighting whether its indoor or outdoor
•   Comes with many colours
•   Manual ON and OFF button (you have to pull the lens to ON it and push the lens to OFF it)

Mini 50S:

• More expensive but it’s newer version
• Light weight, professional looking
• Auto setting
• Comes with black and white glossy colour 
• Auto ON and OFF button

Let's picture rolls! 

Using Mini 7S, we always got weirdly dark photo indoors or overly bright photo outdoor. 

The photos just don’t feel seems right. Either too dark or too bright... I don’t have that problem with Mini 50s as the setting is actually automatic. So I preferably using Mini 50s and I’m very glad I bought this newer version even though almost twice the price.

Funfacts:

Do you know that actually Polaroid is a name of the company who invented instant camera? 

Polaroid Corporation was so famous of their Polaroid products back in 1926 and get it patented in the same year. It was so famous till now everyone calls Polaroid for instant camera. 

Thanks for reading! 

-Deb-

Letter to my Little Angel

Dear my little girl,

It’s been a good eight years since you entered my life.

Joy and happiness, sorrow and sadness… I’ve tasted life and so far it’s all good.

You are my little angel that sent from above.

My little precious.

My pillar of strength.

Mommy’s life has been not easy, there’s ups  and downs but it’s all worth it …especially when I see your sleeping face in the middle of the night. 

I know that you can’t depend on someone’s earthy coz they will disappoint you one day, you gotta depend on God, who never fails you but I can’t help it but to put my life on you.

Thinking one day, you will left me alone and have your own life, it scares me to death and I secretly hope, “pls don’t grow too fast, girl!”

But half of me, I also secretly hope you’ll grow healthily and beautifully, too! What a mix feeling.

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Do you know that shopping together with you is one of my favourite things to do? It’s been highlight of the day when I’ve seen you outgrow your current clothes and shoes and shopping is unavoidable.

Not only that, you’ve taught me how to be kind and have courage... I wouldn’t be more patience and compassionate now if it weren’t for you. I think I need you more than you need me.

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Remember during my exam period, we went to library and I put you in the kid’s section while I’m studying in the different section then few minutes you were sobbing silently coz you tripped off and it hurts but you don’t want to disturb others? Yes, I learnt a considerate heart from you.

Remember that day, when I asked you, what do you want to eat and you let me decide even though you don’t really like it. Yes, I learnt a heart submission from you.

Remember you sometimes have to wake up early Sunday morning coz I’m on usher duty? And you don’t mind follow the nanny of the day for breakfast before go to Sunday school? Yes, I learnt a selfless heart from you.

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Frankly, at first it wasn’t love at the first sight.

 When I saw you for the first time in the hospital, I was like, oh, this is the baby that was inside me for 9 months, so ugly (sorry!)

Why her eyes like that one like an alien?  Why the hair grow imbalance?  Aiyo, why drink milk halfway then vomit again arghh!! Why you always cry with no reasons? LOL

But it’s all these things snowballing and one day I found myself deeply falling in love with you, day by day, especially when you first learn how to walk and talk. How not to fall in love with my own flesh and blood?

I might be subjective coz you are my own kid but I found you’ve grown into a lovely and pretty girl, hehehe  Pretty like me yo J

I still remember during my childhood, your grandma always brought me to Sunday school. I’ll get candies if I could memorize the verse of the week. And how the teachers would tell stories from Adam to Abraham, from Jonah to Jesus. All the bible characters still imprinted in my heart. That’s why I bring you to Sunday school and (sometimes) have to drag you along so that the seeds of faith can be imprinted in your heart, too J

Thanks, dear, for reading the bible together with me.  

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In near future….

I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you.

I’ll be the first person who reaches out to you when you need help.

I’ll be the person who eagerly listening to you, genuinely want to know what’s inside your heart without judging you. Ok, I promise I won’t nag at you. 

I’ll be the person who reminds you how life is great and be grateful of what you have.

I’ll be your forever number one fans. Will support you in everything you do.

I’ll be human disposable trash for you, finishing your unfinished meal (well, that’s explain why nowadays I can’t lose weight easily)

I’ll be the person who wake up in the middle of the night and cover you with blanket, staring at your face and finds it you are still cute. (Sounds creepy!)

I’m not trying to be the best mom in the world but I’ll try my best to be the best mom that you could ever have.

Not only to be a mother for you, but hopefully can we be best friend, too?

So my best friend is my daughter, how cool is that? 

LOL

I’m counting the days when you mature enough, when we can go concert and holiday together, or maybe exchange wardrobe. LOL. Thinking about these possibilities makes me so excited and I have no regret having you in my life. In facts, I give thanks for you in my life.

Exciting life’s await just in front of us. There’ll be more to come. 

To my little angel, my Giselle, I love you so much.

Xoxo

Mommy