Letter to my Little Angel

Dear my little girl,

It’s been a good eight years since you entered my life.

Joy and happiness, sorrow and sadness… I’ve tasted life and so far it’s all good.

You are my little angel that sent from above.

My little precious.

My pillar of strength.

Mommy’s life has been not easy, there’s ups  and downs but it’s all worth it …especially when I see your sleeping face in the middle of the night. 

I know that you can’t depend on someone’s earthy coz they will disappoint you one day, you gotta depend on God, who never fails you but I can’t help it but to put my life on you.

Thinking one day, you will left me alone and have your own life, it scares me to death and I secretly hope, “pls don’t grow too fast, girl!”

But half of me, I also secretly hope you’ll grow healthily and beautifully, too! What a mix feeling.

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Do you know that shopping together with you is one of my favourite things to do? It’s been highlight of the day when I’ve seen you outgrow your current clothes and shoes and shopping is unavoidable.

Not only that, you’ve taught me how to be kind and have courage... I wouldn’t be more patience and compassionate now if it weren’t for you. I think I need you more than you need me.

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Remember during my exam period, we went to library and I put you in the kid’s section while I’m studying in the different section then few minutes you were sobbing silently coz you tripped off and it hurts but you don’t want to disturb others? Yes, I learnt a considerate heart from you.

Remember that day, when I asked you, what do you want to eat and you let me decide even though you don’t really like it. Yes, I learnt a heart submission from you.

Remember you sometimes have to wake up early Sunday morning coz I’m on usher duty? And you don’t mind follow the nanny of the day for breakfast before go to Sunday school? Yes, I learnt a selfless heart from you.

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Frankly, at first it wasn’t love at the first sight.

 When I saw you for the first time in the hospital, I was like, oh, this is the baby that was inside me for 9 months, so ugly (sorry!)

Why her eyes like that one like an alien?  Why the hair grow imbalance?  Aiyo, why drink milk halfway then vomit again arghh!! Why you always cry with no reasons? LOL

But it’s all these things snowballing and one day I found myself deeply falling in love with you, day by day, especially when you first learn how to walk and talk. How not to fall in love with my own flesh and blood?

I might be subjective coz you are my own kid but I found you’ve grown into a lovely and pretty girl, hehehe  Pretty like me yo J

I still remember during my childhood, your grandma always brought me to Sunday school. I’ll get candies if I could memorize the verse of the week. And how the teachers would tell stories from Adam to Abraham, from Jonah to Jesus. All the bible characters still imprinted in my heart. That’s why I bring you to Sunday school and (sometimes) have to drag you along so that the seeds of faith can be imprinted in your heart, too J

Thanks, dear, for reading the bible together with me.  

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In near future….

I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you.

I’ll be the first person who reaches out to you when you need help.

I’ll be the person who eagerly listening to you, genuinely want to know what’s inside your heart without judging you. Ok, I promise I won’t nag at you. 

I’ll be the person who reminds you how life is great and be grateful of what you have.

I’ll be your forever number one fans. Will support you in everything you do.

I’ll be human disposable trash for you, finishing your unfinished meal (well, that’s explain why nowadays I can’t lose weight easily)

I’ll be the person who wake up in the middle of the night and cover you with blanket, staring at your face and finds it you are still cute. (Sounds creepy!)

I’m not trying to be the best mom in the world but I’ll try my best to be the best mom that you could ever have.

Not only to be a mother for you, but hopefully can we be best friend, too?

So my best friend is my daughter, how cool is that? 

LOL

I’m counting the days when you mature enough, when we can go concert and holiday together, or maybe exchange wardrobe. LOL. Thinking about these possibilities makes me so excited and I have no regret having you in my life. In facts, I give thanks for you in my life.

Exciting life’s await just in front of us. There’ll be more to come. 

To my little angel, my Giselle, I love you so much.

Xoxo

Mommy