Yep I had it in my life.
Being Christian doesn't mean that my life will be free of problems or something. I completely aware of that, problems still there, more problems to come.
But being Christian changes my perspective on how I look at the problems, pause for awhile for a little deep breath, and think through quietly before an act.
Like yesterday, coz of my jokes to one of the customers, end up me being called to the boss's office and being scolded upside down. I felt like miserably crying. I regret deeply and ask why...why me!? I should've not said this, I should've not said that. I should've not done this. I should've not done that. Lots of things come thru my minds I felt so suffocated inside.
After felt miserable and stuff, I went to toilet and start to pray. Pray so that God gives me strength (not to cry!) and patience and the most importantly, a reflection on what I've done wrong. And suddenly peace come and touch my heart. Then few mins later I was completely fine. It's grace of God, I supposed :-D
After settled down my emo and stuff like that, I think thru again....and draw to this conclusion.
Since the one that near to you have a capacity to hurt you the most, to disappoint you the most. I learnt by hard way to thicken my skin and my bone, be independent than I used to be, and draw barrier within me an outsider ( in this context is, Mr/ Mrs Customer and colleagues surrounds me)
I cannot imagine how many times they back-stabbed or bad-mouth about me. How they treat me nicely in front of me, but badmouth about me when I'm not around. Think of that makes me sick. So I quickly brush this negative thinking off. In facts, I shouldn't even care of what they said about me coz it's really beyond my control. I don't have capacity to control their thinking or what they said. Can I say ignorance is a bliss!?? I think it's going to be a long day at office if I start to think that way again. If I start to sweat over the small little thing. I recognise it. I felt it. I experience it. But hell there is no way I would let this thing ruin my day.
So friends, in short, to handle back-stabber in your life, or in the office to be precise, is to ignore and treat them nicely. Treat them extremely nicely, prove them that they were wrong about you. Or very tired la asking for human's approval which very subjective. Just act naturally, be true yourself, no drama, no pretences.
And by God's grace, forgive them, back-stabbers. Which honestly speaking it's a part of area that I'm still struggling with. But I believe one day, I'll be able to forgive them and made peace with my own enemy, my very own self.
God, shower me more grace.
-Deb-
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