Battlefield of mind...Begin!

Recently I feel very sick...very sick.

I am sick of telling lies whether it is big lies or small lies, white lies or black lies, or whatever lies anymore.

Especially in my workplace whereby I have to tell lies or should I call it as "create a nonsense story" in order to cover up someone's mistake. Not only once, it happened all the time. I think right now I am reaching a maturity stage of this module named complaining , and bitching a story which I couldnt stand it anymore...

Another things that I hate the most is, been scolded of because someone's mistake. Well, we are working as a team, every thing that we do is connected to each other so if 1 person didnt really do the job well, it will affect our perfomance then...who will *kena scolded from customer!? well you guess....sickening...haha...Give you example, if we got orders from customer and the products are quite new, Product manager will have to create material into system to mark this particular product. Normally creating material is like bread and butter for them which it can be done in less than an hour. Well, just because, they didn't do it, it will be pending for few days. As a result, it will impact our order processing SLA. Then the best part, who will get the complaint!? yes, its me...In this situation I have to use my imaginary brain to bitching a totally non-sense story, apologise and bla bla bla....Imagine this happen all the time...its extremely tiring and unproductive at all...

Another thing is, email. can you imagine how many emails that I receive everyday?   Hundreds!!!
If I take MC or 1 day leave, the next day I back to the office..that's it!!! end of the world! I've got to clear it as soon as possible as everybody is chasing for the order to be done or processed. They'll call, msn, email, call again, msn again, email again till it get done.

It's just a matter of time when my imaginary brain struck my mind and command myself to throw a resignation letter. But I dont want to give my boss such an impression, because I am holding PR, then I can do whatever I want...what you call that...irresponsible!? Dis-integrity!? Childish!?  you name it...Well, in the end, it's just probably my imaginary thinking due to frustration at workplace. My left brain said, come on do whatever you want to do...life is short. My right brain said, come on you have made known that intregrity is made by discipline and hardwork. Strive on and pray to God for a wisdom. Battlefield of mind...Begin!

-Deb-