AHU "SAKE" Renunciation of ABG (Anak Berwarganegaraan Ganda) Part 2

So part 2 here we go! 

After submission online and send the hardcopy to AHU office via DHL, next step is waiting game.

Remember my last post, after Sept 2025, there will be no more "cendols" X 5 but verification process will be consist of 4 department.

1. Verifikasi FU (Freie Universitat)

2. Verifikasi Kasie (Kepala Seksi) 

3. Verifikasi Kasubdit (Kepala Subdirektorat) 

4. Verifikasi Direktur 

So instead of 5 department, they streamlined it into 4 department. These are the screenshot difference. 

So when they finished the verification, the description shows "Sesuai", make sure that all "Sesuai" in all 4 department mentioned above. 

Then, there will be an email notification that AHU already approved. So the timeline for me (as a benchmark)

Online submission- 23 Dec 2025

Hardcopy submission via DHL- 24 Dec 2025 (reached AHU office according to DHL tracker)

During December month, it's peak period and it's nearer to Christmas and year end festive season, too. So expect delay since many staffs will be clearing leaves or cuti bersama.

SO, 

1. Verifikasi FU (Freie Universitat)- 30 Dec 2025. 

2. Verifikasi Kasie (Kepala Seksi)- 9 Jan 2026

3. Verifikasi Kasubdit (Kepala Subdirektorat) - 9 Jan 2026

4. Verifikasi Direktur - 29 Jan 2026

From the day of online submission until the approval, approximately about 5 weeks, not bad considering it's online submission and the bottleneck is only at Verifikasi Direktur which take almost 2 weeks to approve. Well done, AHU!

Next step is easy. download and go back to  Pak Anwar to do the translation ($50). 

Text him at 9650 5794, send him softcopy to office_ind@yahoo.com.sg and make paynow/paylah payment immediately. Check the details many many many times before he prints out and wet stamps it on the document and then collect the hardcopy to his office. Detailed instruction will be given via Whatsapp, don't worry too much! 

And then, you're done! Congratulations.

In fact, if you're renouncing when your child is 18yo, you need to wait 3 years until he/she reaches 21yo for ICA to send invitation letter to do Oath. 

If your child already reaches 21yo, ICA is very very accommodating and we can keep re-scheduling until you receive AHU letter.

But as kiasu as Singaporean am I , Giselle turns 18yo in December 2025. I quickly did renunciation submission on 23 Dec 2025 and the letter approved and ready to be downloaded on 29 Jan 2026. So now, after the translation done, I will keep the AHU letter in a safe, until she's turn 21yo to receive ICA letter for her to do oath.

One rumor circulated in Telegram. Most of the time, dual citizenship child from both Indonesian parents (meaning the parents were Indonesian and then converted to Singaporean together with whole family), the child still need to do oath (sumpah) when they reach 21yo, hence they need to go through this painful Indonesian renunciation process. 

But if dual citizenship child from true blue Singaporean (meaning the mother or father is either Singaporean), since the child birth was in Singapore, so automatically the child is citizen of Singapore hence do not need to take oath (or sumpah). It can be verified in the birth certificate where there is this column statement mentioned that, "THIS CHILD IS A CITIZEN OF SINGAPORE AT THE TIME OF BIRTH". Hence no need to sumpah.

Confusing, right?

I am really confuse which is which since Giselle's father is the latter case. But I don't want to risk it, I will keep this AHU letter until she reaches 21yo. See if she will receive ICA letter or not. If she receives, I have this AHU letter as a stand-by. However, if she's not receiving ICA letter, then I will keep it as souvenirs to commemorate my AHU journey. I will check-in again in 3 years time. Good luck. 

The keyword is to have PATIENCE and ENJOY the process. Diligently READING the manual or get ACTIVE in Telegram's chatgroup and READ all of the conversation history because there might be information that MIGHT be relevant/not relevant to your case. JANGAN MALAS or NO NEED to waste money on the calo fee, we have this very supportive member whom basically friendly enough to share their experiences and tips &tricks, if you're asking the right questions, so do leverage on that. 

Lastly, I hope that this blogpost can help others, too. 

Thanks for reading. 

Signing off.

Thursday, 29 January 2026

See you in 3 years time.

-Debora-

Renunciation of ABG (Anak Berwarganegaraan Ganda)

 Dec 2025

Finally Giselle turns to 18 years old. which means... the clock is ticking until she reaches 21 years old, to renounce her Indonesian citizenship because neither Indonesia and Singapore allows dual citizenship. Although she still have 3 more years to go but being #kiasu #kiasi Singaporean, I would want to renounce her Indonesia citizenship first before ICA call her to sumpah (oath) in 3 years time. 

First step is to create login account in beloved SAKE. I just discovered that the website also changed, no longer SAKE but they call AHU Kewarganegaraan. Things have changed. 

New website: https://kewarganegaraan.ahu.go.id/backend/login.

Then choose, Permohonan Surat Keterangan Kehilangan Kewarganegaraan Republik Indonesia bagi Orang yang telah Memperoleh Kewarganegaraan Asing (Pasal 23 huruf (h))

Click "Saya Paham" to go to next page. (1a)

Here are the list of documents required to upload: 

Let's dissect what are the documents required: 

No. 1. Surat permohonan yang ditujukan kepada Direktur Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum, u.p Direktur Tata Negara dan ditandatangani diatas meterai.

Surprisingly the first document is the last thing that you can obtain, after submit your request, fill in all of your particular, and upload all the necessary document. so we KIV first.

No. 2. Fotokopi kutipan akta kelahiran atau surat yang membuktikan kelahiran dari orang yang mengajukan permohonan yang dilegalisasi oleh pejabat yang berwenang atau Perwakilan Republik Indonesia.

 If you are born in Indonesia, let's say, Jakarta, you have to ask for your relative's help to go to the official government office (DukCaPil) such as Kantor Kecamatan/ Kantor Kelurahan, to legalize Akte Lahir for you. Alternatively, you travel back to your hometown to legalize this document. I don't know how and how much because luckily my daughter was born in Singapore so I registered her Indonesian Akte Lahir in KBRI Singapore. In my case, I just need to go back to KBRI, to legalize the document for a fee. $40 per documents for 4 copies. 

To legalize KBRI documents in KBRI, I will need to book appointment via Antrian Online: https://services.indonesianembassy.sg/

Kekonsuleran> Lanjutkan Mengisi Antrian Online>Pilih Layanan>Legalisasi Fotokopi/ Salinan sesuai aslinya untuk dokumen yang diterbitkan oleh KBRI Singapura>Lanjutkan>choose the date (red: full, grey: cannot choose date, please choose the black font date> Lanjutkan> type Name and Email address>Lanjutkan>Upload Dokumen/ Naskah Asli and Upload Formulir Lembar Konsuler (both in pdf/jpg/png)>Fee is $40 paynow>Konfirmasi>SUBMIT. Basically just follow the instructions in website. 

No.3. Fotokopi kutipan akta perkawinan/buku nikah/laporan perkawinan/surat keterangan perkawinan dari orang yang mengajukan permohonan yang dilegalisasi oleh pejabat yang berwenang atau Perwakilan Republik Indonesia

If single, just make own template stating your particulars, such as: Name/ NIK/Passport No. and statement that you haven't married. signed with your signature and date, no need materai. Some people I know put on materai la but personally I didnt put because I only have 1 materai for Surat Permohonan only. 

If married, please provide your buku nikah and legalize in your hometown's DukCaPil office, basically the issuing office that issued this document. So if you married in Jakarta, Indonesia, you have to go back to Jakarta DukCaPil office in Jakarta to settle the legalization stuffs.

Personally I didn't go through the DukCaPil route since all of my daughter's documentation are issued by KBRI Singapore, which blessing in disguise. So I'm not too sure how to find local DukCaPil, I heard can just google or there is a dedicated website just for that. 

No. 4. Fotokopi dokumen perjalanan Republik Indonesia atau Kartu Tanda Penduduk yang sudah diverifikasi oleh Perwakilan Republik Indonesia

If you have KTP, again, back to DukCaPil in hometown to get legalize.

In my case, my daughter do not have KTP, so I use Indonesia's passport. KBRI can legalize expired passport as long as issued by KBRI. So upon booking KBRI appointment via Antrian online, I also legalize her expired Indonesia passport together with her Akte Lahir, since both document issued by KBRI. So killing two birds with one stone. 

No.5. Surat keterangan dari pejabat negara asing yang menyatakan pemohon akan menjadi warga negara asing yang diterjemahkan dalam bahasa Indonesia oleh penerjemah resmi tersumpah

5a. Firstly, go to: https://www.ica.gov.sg/reside/citizenship/confirmation

Submit online, follow the instruction, most likely need Singpass to verify, and Paynow $20 as per request, wait few days later, random ICA officer will be in contact with you via email, reply to him/her explaining your situation and they will help you to churn out this confirmation of SG Citizenship status document, very efficient. the PDF is locked by password which is your birthdate. download, and print hardcopy. 

5b. Next, go to:https://legalisation.sal.sg/

Choose Services> Authorization & Legislation> Quick Links> Request Apostille Legalization Services>follow the instruction before you make a payment of $10.70 for legalization fees and $1.07 for photocopy services. Meaning if you need 2 copies of document to be legalized, you need to pay ($10.70 X 2) + ($1.07 X 2) = before 9% GST. 

After that, walk in to SAL office get to Singapore Academy of Law (SAL) to legalize, a little bit tricky, you need to show SA officer the email communication and open the PDF document in front of them, before they can proceed to legalize. No need to book appointment for SAL, just walk in within operating hours. 

5c. Lastly, use this document, to be translated to translator which based in SG office. In my case, I choose infamous Mr. Anwar which has already the template, so turnaround time within few hours. Text him at 9650 5794, send him the softcopy to office_ind@yahoo.com.sg, make payment via paynow/paylah ($50 per page of documents), within few hours, please ask for the draft before he printed and stamp basah with his signature. PLEASE CHECK your details MANY MANY TIMES beforehand. Then come down to his office to collect the hardcopy.

In conclusion there were 3 steps to do just to get this document.

Are you still with me? Good.

6. Fotokopi Paspor Asing yang dilegalisasi oleh Perwakilan negara yang mengeluarkan.

SG passport bring to SAL to legalize. Refer to the steps in 5b, which basically:

Go to:https://legalisation.sal.sg/

Choose Services> Authorization & Legislation> Quick Links> Request Apostille Legalization Services>follow the instruction before you make a payment of $10.70 for legalization fees and $1.07 for photocopy services. Meaning if you need 2 copies of document to be legalized, you need to pay ($10.70 X 2) + ($1.07 X 2) = before 9% GST, and so on and so forth. 

After that, walk in to SAL office get to Singapore Academy of Law (SAL) to legalize, for SG passport, SG IC, just need to show them original physical passport and I/C card, cannot use Singpass. 

7. Bukti pengembalian paspor Indonesia dari Kantor Imigrasi atau Perwakilan Repubik Indonesia.

Another long-winded process just to obtain this document. Hope you mabok enough already from this "SAKE" since AHU and KBRI are having a chicken and eggs situation, hahaha....

7a. In order to return expired Indonesia passport, I need to bring these document to KBRI. So prepare these document first beforehand. 

1. Surat Permohonan (which means you have to do one time of mock-up submission, download the Surat Permohonan, print, but do not sign and  do not put materai first) 

2. Print pop-up notification showing 9 documents in AHU website. the page that you need to click "Saya Paham" page before proceeding to the next page. Refer to (1a), gonna scroll all the way up. Remember to screenshot all the way until profile page on the left side which showing the name of profile picture. 

3. Legalized Indo passport (in my case, legalized in KBRI, although it's expired passport but KBRI still legalize it)

4. SG passport (legalized di SAL)

5. SG pink IC (legalized di SAL)

6. Word document with standard template: Renunciation of Indonesian Citizenship, contain of Name, Handphone No., and Address in Singapore. Then signed, named, and date. In case, if they need to contact you for any additional information.

7. New latest KK with barcode (old KK no barcode- need to legalize in DukCapil) 

Next steps after you obtain all the above document, next: 

7b. To return back passport, you cannot book from Antrian online, so have to email or whatsapp them. Email to konsuler@indonesianembassy.sg or imigrasi@indonesianembassy.sg and WA to 9186 0058 to get the appointment date and timing. Remember nowadays KBRI not allowed to walk-in and based on appointment only, the security guards are very strict. And do wear proper attire, no tanktop, no sleeveless, skirt, sandal, or even shorts that above knees also cannot enter the premises. Dress properly and wear covered shoes, to be safe. 

After you got KBRI appointment, go and surrender the passport, 3 working days later, come back to collect the letter of Bukti Pengembalian passport issued by KBRI. Since it's in ENG and IND so no need to translate or whatsoever. 

8. Pasfoto berwarna terbaru dari orang yang mengajukan pernyataan berukuran 4x6 cm (empat kali enam sentimeter) sebanyak 2 (dua) lembar

The simplest document to do among all. Firstly, to go to photostudio, tell the aunty/uncle to take passport photo for Indonesia embassy, both soft/hardcopy, take photo, pay, that's all. Nowadays AHU not that strict, red or white background also can. with or without collar also OK, as long as proper attire. 

So by now you have documents no.2-8, let's submit (for the second time) to get the Surat Permohonan. Let's do it:

Click> Selanjutnya> Go to data Ayah dan Data Ibu

Click Selanjutnya> Perhatian pop-up box> OK. However, ensure that the data is correct and accurate. 

Summary page look like this:

Download to PDF file, now can download, print, and put materai, signed on it. 

Then it will bring you to the next page to upload all the document

Another thing to take note, when uploading the document, you only can upload jpeg,jpg, png, which limited to 1 pager. There is no way you can upload PDF file. I hope they can improve this next time. 

Do not worry of missing document to be upload, you definitely cannot move to the next page until you uploaded all of the document. 

Finally, 

9. Bukti pembayaran penerimaan negara bukan pajak

Lastly, there will be Surat Perintah Bayar (SPB) which contain of the details of bank account and payment instruction, just make a payment via KlikBCA. Once paid, produce the receipt, and wait for awhile for email notification of succesful payment, scan softcopy in the "upload bukti pembayaran page" and print hardcopy for DHL shipment later on. 

I remember during my time, since KlikBCA still haven't really developed yet, we need to come down to the only one branch of BNI bank in Singapore, go one time to transfer payment over the counter, then wait for the next working day to collect proof of payment receipt. Such a waste of time. 5 years have passed and KlikBCA really helps a lot to streamline the payment process. 

That's all how to get all of the 9 documents stated above. So in conclusion, the trips that I went through:

1. KBRI - 4 trips: 1 to legalize the KBRI documents (Akte Lahir, Indonesian passport- expired, need appointment via Antrian Online). 1 to collect the document, no need appointment. 1 to return passport- need appointment via email/WA, last 1 to collect the document, no need appointment. So total 4 trips. 

2. SAL-  1 trip to make online payment for legalization document and then walk-in. In my case, I need to pay 4 documents which are SG passport, SG I/C, SG ICA confirmation of citizenship letter ($10.70X3)+ ($1.07X3)= before GST. If you kiasu, you can make 2 copies each document so everything X6. and so on. When you come down to SAL, there are 3 documents needed to be legalized by far: 1. ICA - Confirmation of SG Citizenship. 2. SG passport, and 3. SG IC 

Next, all of the softcopy that you have uploaded, you have to mail out the hardcopy (with those legalization stamp) all the way to AHU office via DHL. 

How to mail out via DHL. Firstly, make a shipment via online: https://shipnow.dhl.com/mt/en/create-shipment

Choose Ship and PayOnline> can choose btn courier pickup OR drop off at DHL Service Point

Follow the instruction, paid online, and for me, since I do not have DHL envelope, I choose to drop off at DHL Service Point so that I can print out the label sticker, DHL envelope, and ask advices from the counter. But if you have above items, you can easily arrange for courier pickup. 

Lastly, opt-in for DHL tracking number, the most expensive price to ship DHL to AHU Jakarta office, so you'll know what is the status and when the shipment arrived in AHU office. One obstacle, the postal code is 12940 which not matched with the city so you need to put "Setia Budi" and the system will allow you to proceed to the next page. I think I spent almost an hour to figure out. 

Here is the address: Jalan HR Rasuna Said kav 6-7, Kuningan, Jakarta Selatan, 12940. "Setia Budi" 

After that, the waiting game...

In my case, I submitted complete SAKE online on 23 Dec, paid, and print all the document, and DHL it on the same date. Next day, 24 Dec DHL status delivered in AHU office. 25 Dec Christmas holiday so office closed. But I kept on following up via email and WA until got reply from the officer. I understand that their response will be slower than usual since it's end of the year, people start clearing leaves, cuti bersama, and festive seasons...

As per Sept 2025, there will be no more "cendol", so now the verification process consist of 4 departments:

1. Verifikasi FU- 30 Dec 2025 

2. Verifikasi Kasie

3. Verifikasi Kasubdit

4. Verifikasi Direktur

And once they confirm the status will change to "Sesuai" with the sidenote of "Keterangan" 

To be continued....part 2. Because I've realized the post is too long and I have to break it into 2 parts. 

Very important information:

AHU email address: cs@ahu.go.id

AHU WA number: +62 81223848678

KBRI email address:konsuler@indonesianembassy.sg or imigrasi@indonesianembassy.sg 

KBRI WA to 9186 0058

-Debora- 

Achievement Unlock: MBA

 Do you know what is the best revenge, post break-up?

You don't need to do anything ridiculous, just to revenge him. 

What do you need to do...is...LIVE YOUR LIFE..Continue to carry on your "postpone" dreams when you were in the relationship with him, and START TO LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

And here we go, after post breakup in 2018, I forced myself to wake up and continue living Now, I can safely said that I am completely over him and focus on myself, family, new career, more achievement to be unlocked.

April 2019: Moved in together. First holiday to Pulau Perhentian for diving trip with cousin.

25 June 2019: Welcome si MERAH Civic, additional to our family. Car is a necessity especially when the distance from house to office is like 1.5 hour journey 1 way. 

July 2019: he proposed and registered ROM date 

Aug 2019: Second holiday: Sydney and Melbourne with Nana and family.

Nov 2019: still went business trip to KL office (for the first/second time!?) and then continue to third holiday together to Bangkok, because eventhough it's near but it never be in my bucket list for whatever reason, so decided just to go Bangkok for my birthday. I am glad that we went, before Covid hits.

Dec 2019: Na and family came to stay for few weeks.

And did BBQ housewarming in new house. 

2020: COVID hits so nothing much happening but I got my citizenship in March 2020. so well, at least with new passport, I couldnt go anywhere at that point of time but will use it once the borders open. 

Feb 2021: Officially ROM with my love one, thanks abang, for always put up with me, in good times and bad times. We are not perfect human but we are perfect for each other.

May 2021: Finally get a courage to continue MBA. I enrolled Master of Business Administration in University of Murdoch partnership with Kaplan. The program is about 1.5years to 2 years depending on my speed but due to Covid and I am doing part time, so a lot of countless sleepless nights. I was busy due to online class, group drama with one of the Thai classmate, and completed Finance/ Accounting module with the help of abang. SO AGAIN, Thanks Abang, I couldn't have done this without his support. 

Feb 2022: Happy 1st anniversary! Just celebrate together with Valentine's day. This is the thing, we are quite "old" and "boring" couple so NO gamble, NO going out until very late at night, NO stupid or ridiculous thing. NOTHING. Just go out for dinner to eat steamboat and home early since the next day got to work. 

April 2022: Decided to take Sabbatical leaves for 4 months as an excuse of "burnt out" due to work stress and part time study. End up, I was in Jakarta for a month-long holiday, eating, visiting friend and relatives, first time bleaching hair full-head and decided to go purple! I have gained so much weight but overall quite happy and contented. Oh, first time balik kampung with red passport as well, so only can stay in Jakarta for exactly 30days before visa expired. 

May 2022: I still remember taking my online class in hotel Bandung, while they all went out to street food for dinner. After that they got tabao back so supper for me.

29 May 2022: IT WAS THE DAY THAT MOCHI CAME INTO MY HOUSE

So excited finally I got a puppy! I have never in my wildest dream, dreaming about owning a dog in Singapore. Now I am a proud of Mochi-red shiba inu puppy owner and taking care of her was not easy at the beginning, she got kennel cough and it took me about 2 months for her recovery. But the last week of her recovery, we sent back to her petshop for few days so that I can finally have cruise-honeymoon trip with husband.

June- July 2022: Royal Caribbean cruise trip, taking intermediate and advance excel course over the weekend

Got called back for interview of internal role: CX lead

Aug 2022~ now: started new career path, thanks to MBA, my last semester of MBA but already secured the new job with huge jump of % increment, thanks God. 

Oct 2022: MBA graduation with father in town, too bad the graduation is in English.

Nov 2022: DRAMA with family, won't reveal any details here but I decided to be fully independent and finally understood this statement, "although blood is thicker than water, neighbor (as in kampung spirit) still the best" HAHAHA kampung spirit in condominium. 

Dec 2022: Now Nana and family came over for almost 3 weeks to spend time together and holiday in Singapore. With si Merah it is so much easier going places/ cafe-hunting

March 2023: Mochi 1st birthday and decided to take family photoshoot. 

NOW April 2023: Accumulating wealth and health, the biggest investment is exercise and WESOP. LOL.

SO again, so much happening in my life ever since the last time i saw you. And it is because my own capacity (and of course my husband and family support). I know you are aware of this blog existence and still sometime reading it and most probably brag about yourself and stupid ideas of "I need to break up with her first so that right now she is successful", so I said, FUCK OFF!? 

I am happier, HEALTHIER, and wiser without you, ex. 

kthxbye. 

 

Mulutmu Harimaumu

Pernah denger kata, "Mulutmu, Harimaumu"? 

Kata orang, perkataan bisa membangun manusia, perkataan juga bisa membunuh manusia. Padahal paling gampang mengucapkan kata2 sebab lidah tak bertulang. Makanya hati2lah bila mengucapkan sesuatu, connect your tongue with your brain before saying any words. Sebab kata-kata itu gampang diucapkan tetapi berat maknanya. 

Contoh seperti saya sekarang, padahal udah hampir 2 tahun putus dari yang orang Malaysia, fucking gamble addict itu, akan tetapi kata2-nya masih menghantui sampai sekarang. Yah engak terus2an sih menghantui, cuman kadang2 aja on and off, saya pun masih dalam proses healing walaupun sudah move on dan mengampuni, tapi tetap saja susah untuk melupakannya. 

1. "You're married, got kid, and divorced so young, I bet Giselle will be like you, too. Got pregnant before married and soon within few years from now, you will carry your own grandkids in such a young age"

Perkataan ini adalah perkataan dirinya selama kami masih pacaran. Yah, selama kami bersama, ada-lah 4-5X dia mengatakan sepetti itu, pas lagi bercanda or lagi ngobrol bersama. Beda2 tempat dan konteksnya. Sebenarnya saya tersinggung sedikit tapi apa dikata, karena masih ingin bersama yah pas masa itu, yah saya tutup sebelah mata saja. Telan dengan pahit. Tapi setelah putus dan mengingat kembali perkataan ini, lagi membuat saya yakin bahwa perkataan ini menyakitkan dan membunuh saya secara emosionally. OMG what have I done for the past 3years together with him sucking up at his bullshit!

2. "I can't believe you're born like this and no one in your family (or friends) tell you off and I hate to be the one who has to teach you basic manner like this"

Lupa juga konteksnya apa tapi kayaknya berantem kecil gara2 masalah sepele, dan saya kan emang orangnya vocal, loud, and straightforward. Jadi A yah A, dan B yah B. Beda karakter dengan dia yang soft-spoken, playing mind-game (e.g: yes means no and no means yes, capek deh pokoknya reading his emotion, considering his pride, and reading situation/ambience, etc etc, aka bertele2)

Yah namanya juga udah beda culture, beda bahasa, dan beda karakter, yah kalo gak cocok berarti gak cocok. Sampai ada satu waktu dimana saya gak bisa jadi diri sendiri, harus selalu hati2 dalam perkataan dan tingkah laku didepan dia dan keluarganya dan lebih memilih gak ngomong and comfortable with awkward silence, daripada ngomong tapi nanti akhirnya balik lagi menyerang saya. 

3. " You see my ex, I need to broke up with her first and now she's become successful and a good Christian girl. I need to GIVE her a harsh break and let her go so that now she become very successful and thanks to me now she is very successful." 

I was like, duh! Masa orang harus diputusin dulu sih baru berubah jadi lebih baik? Dan credit to you who was already taken initiative to break up, now she's better than before?? WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IT IS and I DIDN'T KNOW WHY AT THAT POINT OF TIME I JUST LISTENED STUPIDLY TO HIS NONSENSE AND NOT RELENT! Oh because i still want him, thats why just kept quiet and nodded to keep his ego on check! 

In my heart, Bukannya couples itu harusnya bersama dan saling membangun satu sama lain towards a better future and positively encourage each other for a good development? 

MAKANYA DIE DIE, I DONT WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM, TOTALLY BURNT ALL THE BRIDGE WITH HIM AND HIS FAMILY, SEBAB BISA AJA KAN DIA AMA CEWEK BARUNYA JUGA DIGOMBALIN BEGITU, "OH LOOK AT MY EX (AKA ME), I NEED TO BROKE UP WITH HER FIRST SO THAT NOW SHE'S SUCCESSFUL, ALREADY GOTTEN CITIZENSHIP, STABLE INCOME, STAY IN CONDO, GRADUATED MBA, STABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER CURRENT BF, ETC ETC. " 

Maaf ya bragging, kesuksesan saya, saya yang capai sendiri, malahan pas sama dia, karir gue anjlok, sibuk ngurusin dia dan masalah gamblenya dia sampai gak ada waktu dan gak fokus sama anak dan karir, sama diri sendiri. Dasar Setan. 

And now I'm with a new one, orangnya gak neko2, habis kerja langsung pulang rumah, gak gamble, gak KTV, gak main cewek, and he gives me security, physically and emotionally so that i have my own time to focus on my kid and career. Support me with financial advice and because of him, I can graduate MBA, I even have my own time to self-love myself. THANK GOD I FOUND HIM. And how to know that I'm with someone perfectly good for me? easy, lihat aja keseharianku, aman dan nyaman tinggal bersama doi, bisa jadi diri sendiri didepan doi, gak usah pura2, sekarang i can say that saya pribadi menjadi lebih baik dan lebih maju financially and emotionally bersama doi, paling penting bagi seorang wanita itu adalah SENSE OF SECURITY di segi manapun, physical, emotional, mental, and financial. Meaning I'm with the right person. THANK GOD. 

And vice versa, kalau misalnya couples tapi selalu bertengkar karena hal2 sepele, misal karena nada saya ngomong lebih tinggi sedikit and gak enak didenger....atau dia marah dan tersinggung everytime I speak my own opinion because it's simply the truth!? Kan biasa gitu, orang marah karena apa yang dikatakan orang lain itu benar, kalau engak kenapa yok marah!? LOL. 

And i can clearly vouch that he was not the one for me, because when i was with him, i had this uncontrollable anxiety whereby i need to know where he is, whom he's with,  what he's doing, etc etc, to the point of paranoia that i need to constantly checked his handphone and whereabouts because i know when he's disappeared from  his daily routine, ujung2nya pasti sneakily go inside Casino or KTV which worries me the most. Go casino for just few hours can potentially blow $5-10k. Very expensive hobby, prince Kedah, lol. Then at that point of time, he didn't even bother to address my paranoia towards him but make it worst, more lying and more money gambled inside Casino each days... And not only Casino yah, dia juga gambling 4D, TOTO, soccer, and lucunya saya gak tau ternyata badminton juga bisa lho di gamble-in alamak... pantesan ada satu waktu dimana he's super interested in watching badminton match, padahal main or sentuh raket aja gak pernah, my oh my. 

4. "I've really want to prove (brother in law or me or someone that look down to him) that I can be successful, that's why I went in Casino to win big and prove it"

Now masalahnya eh, siapa yang look down on you? perasaanmu saja kali yang orang look down padahal orang biasa2 aja kok, persoalan koko ipar suka buka surat dan parcelnya dia sebab yah dia tinggal ditempat koko in law-nya (OMG 33 years old and still live together with sister, dasar lintah darat!). Dan koko in law-nya juga takut dia ngutang bank or ngutang Ah long makanya tiap ada surat or parcel atas nama dia, langsung dibuka amplopnya gak pake lama. lol. Terus ngomel2 ke gue katanya no privacy, no life, gak dihargai sama orang rumah. Tapi dipikir2 lagi kalau gue jadi koko in law-nya juga pasti akan bertingkah laku sama, kan takut bok alamat rumahnya sama nanti kalau ada bank or Ahlong yang datang pawn his home, OMG, which is very likely to happen, especially when he's blind because of gambling addiction...Kasian yah keluarga sana punya adik or hubungan darah yang "moyung: useless fuck" seperti dia, untung saja saya udah lepas semua dan putus total. Totally burnt the bridge, no more contact. That's for the best. 

Dan kalau misal gak mau orang look down on you, please cari kerjaan yang benar dan halal, jangan suka telat berangkat ke kantor (tiap kali telat bangun, langsung naik cab at least thrice a week and sampai kantor jam 1030am ke atas gitu ya elah) dan really focus on career. Gak ada kata shortcut for a success. You earn the success with blood and tears, with time and effort. Gak ada yang namanya shortcut to Casino and hope to WIN BIG within short period of time. Itu mah namanya mau sukses tapi males. Benar2 cowok gak mature dan gak guna deh. Apa jangan2 itu hanyalah alasan untuk memuaskan gambling addictionmu saja. Again I have done with his shit, kept on lying, kept on dissapearing which make me trauma. 

5. "I've seen your parents and relatives, and your sister, too...all not pretty (or not attractive), and honestly you're not that pretty, too. Maybe "attractive" is not in your genes."

Nah ini konteksnya setelah tahun ke-2 pacaran dan gue bawa pulang Jakarta untuk Christmas holiday and nemuin bonyok gue. Sepintas I didn't really bother with this statement coz I'm pretty much secure person. You said me ugly? OK lho, You said me stupid? WHATEVER....  But after broke up and flash back on these few occassion, this statement make me upset. WHY? WHY HE HAS TO SAID THAT WHEN THAT POINT OF TIME, WE DIDN'T EVEN HAD ARGUMENT!? Maksudnya apa....Padahal bisa aja lho dengan perkataan menyakitkan begini gue tersakiti dan lebay dan ngambek but because of my sense of security, I have no problem with that. I didn't feel sad or just ignore coz i feel like this is small matter and it's okay la just tutup sebelah mata. 

Padahal gue sama sekali gak pernah bilang eh cici lu gendut yah mesti diet or relatives lu jelek etc etc, biasa aja gue, and why then he said i'm not that attractive but he is attracted to me and spent 3 years to be my bf? gak salah lho. Jilat tuh ludah sendiri. 

Sebenarnya masih banyak lagi perkataan2 dia yang nonsense dan menyakiti saya selama 3tahun yang kelam itu, tapi yah ini top 5 yang masih saya ingat sampai sekarang. And now I'm moving on and getting hitch next week, I'm praying to God and surrender to Him to set me free dari kata2 yang menyakitkan ini. Masih dalam proses recovery and I believe with time and God's Grace, i will definitely go through this. Thanks for reading yah. Bye.

-Debbie-

Gratitude 2020- Blog pakai Bahasa Indonesia ajah.

Post kali ini, pakai Bahasa Indonesia aja. 

Udah lama gak nge-blog pakai Bahasa Indonesia.

Jadi yang baca, harus orang Indo atau Melayu, yang bisa bahasa Indonesia. Slang. 

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Intinya post ini hanya untukku saja. 

Buat me-memori-kan milestone kehidupanku. Biar inget sampai hari tua. 

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Sudah hampir setaon, saya dan doi tinggal bersama, ada yang nyinyir kumpul kebo, ada yang nyinyir beda agama tapi so far kami ok tuh hidup bersama. We get along very well. 

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Setaon ini, selalu suka, gak ada duka. 

Setaon ini, selalu ketawa, gak ada susah.

Setaon ini, selalu bahagia, gak ada kecewa.

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Setaon ini, bahagia aku dibuatnya. Doi memang mengutamakan aku seorang saja. Lebih dari dirinya sendiri. 

Terimakasih telah mencintaiku apa adanya.

Doi kan umurnya cukup jauh. Jadi lebih sayang dan "cincai" sama saya. Banyak banget kekurangan saya, udah bekas cerai, punya past baggage 1, masih mau lagi doi sama saya. 

Padahal saya orangnya keras kepala, susah dikasih tau atau dinasehati, suka naik pitam dan marah2 gak jelas (aka PMS). 

Tapi Doi tuh tau banget, kalau saya lagi marah yah di-diemin, entaran juga reda sendiri. 

Kalau saya lagi bete, yah diajak jalan2 biar seneng. 

Kalau saya lagi bimbang, diajak tukar pikiran, biar pikiranku lebih terbuka dan engak overthinking. 

Terimakasih yah, telah menerimaku apa adanya.

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Dulu, saya ini yang gak pernah masak dan baking, kerjain housechores aja malas2an. Tetapi saya ingin menjadi pasangan yang baik. Jadi saya paksakan untuk mau belajar masak, bake untuk doi. 

Dulu saya ini malas orangnya, berantakan banget. Sukanya lihat bersih2 tapi males kalau disuruh do housechores. Tapi untuk doi, saya mau berbenah rumah, do laundry, sapu dan pel (kan pakai Robot, hahaha), dan rumah bersih dan kinclong saat doi sampai rumah.

Home dan House kan artinya kan rumah tapi ada bedanya sedikit yah. Kalau house itu adalah rumah bangunannya, home itu orangnya. Jadi sudah menjadi tugas saya, sebagai pasangan yang baik untuk menyediakan home untuk kami berdua. 

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Nah gara2 saya lagi sakit maag akut dan harus kerja dari rumah, banyak waktu luang deh. Habis di endoscopy dan colonoscopy dan diberi banyak obat maag sampai minggu depan. Semoga gak ada hal serius ya tolong didoakan semoga saya cepat sembuh. I miss curry and sambal balado :-( 

Nah karena sekarang banyak waktu luang, saya jadi senang banget hobi membanding2kan keadaan dulu sewaktu masih sama mantan yang hantu judi itu sama keadaan saya yang sekarang ini yang bahagia. Jahat sih sebenarnya membanding2kan, tetapi gimana lagi kan saya hanya manusia biasa, udah kristen KTP pula, gak pernah gereja lagi. Gak apa deh hanya untuk count my blessing aja. hahaha. 

Mari dimulai. Mantan bilangnya M yah. Dan pacar baru bilangnya Doi.

1. PAST: Dulu saya pusing soal M 's wellbeing, harus jadi babu gitu bangunin M tiap pagi supaya gak telat ke kantor, kalau dibangunin kena omel, gak dibangunin juga kena omel, kalau M telat ke kantor juga saya yang kena katanya kok telat banguninnya, padahal sama2 kerja kita orang. Beban saya. 

Terus belum lagi pusing juga harus ngurusin baju, handuk, bersihin lantai karena skinnya si M itu shedding, kayak serbuk2 gitu dilantai, belum lagi headscalpnya. Jijik. Yah bukan salah dia sih eczema akut dari kecil, tapi kadang2 tuh pagi udah ribet urusan sendiri (mandi, siap2, make up, etc) mesti harus rempong ngurusin M juga, berasanya tuh saya jadi babysitter. Beban banget saya. 

NOW: Saya dan pacar baru saya (doi) orangnya morning person, jadi gak ada kesulitan bangun pagi. Malah doi yang bangun duluan, siap2. Dan saya bangun 10-15mins setelahnya untuk nyiapin sarapan. Sarapan-pun simple, cuman toast bread, omelette, kopi (or ovaltine maklum saya lagi sakit maag) paling cuman 20mins siapin sarapan. Terus beres2 langsung ke kantor bareng. Kalau lagi bosan sarapan dirumah yah kami sarapan diluar. Commute juga cuman max 30mins dari rumah ke kantor. No beban. 

2. PAST: Dulu saya pusing si M judi. Kalau sudah uncontactable nights berhari2, udah tau deh kemana si M. Setelah akhirnya bisa dicontact lagi, eh, baru pengakuan dia habis dari casino dan kalah $xxx. Bisa sampai berpuluh2 k lho itungannya. Serem banget sampai terkuras habis uang tabungannya, dan ngutang lagi sama bank or temannya. Bukannya tabungan itu makin bertambah untuk masa depan kita (goal: ROM dan beli HDB) malahan negatif terus. Ngutang orang/ bank lagi hadeuh. Bener2 useless banget. 

Sampai waktu2 saya yang harus tanggung semua dating expenses. Dipikir2 lagi bodoh banget saya. Buta cinta kali yah pas waktu itu. Paling bodohnya sewaktu saya secara sukarela swipe credit card of $3k untuk membiayai M judi, sewaktu kami liburan ke Genting. Terus ditahun kedua kami jalan bareng, saya rela pinjam cash advance credit ke UOB sebesar $10k hanya untuk membantu meringankan monthly bank payout-nya si M. Terakhir itu saya ditodong $1k buat dia modal casino, katanya M janji yang terakhir kalinya gamble, setelah itu next month dan seterusnya saya boleh ambil 100% kontrol gajinya. HAHAHAHA buat apa ya, saya tanya? Kalau dia pikir saya mau sama dia karena mau take control gajinya 100% or eyeing his PR status just to get HDB. Salah besar dia. Narcisstic banget kan pola pikirnya. Dikira situ siapa? Prince Kedah yah. LOL 

Tapi yah semuanya udah berlalu dan udah lunas sih. Sudah recover juga financially. Ya weis. Jadi pembelajaran saja. Ikhlas saya. 

NOW: Gak usah pusing deh masalah financial. Wong kami berdua kerja dan mapan kok. Malah saya salute sama doi yang bisa berhemat selama 3tahun demi membeli private property sendiri. Hebat. Jadi sekarang saya punya banyak waktu untuk diri saya sendiri, bisa kasih waktu dan kasih sayang buat Giselle, bisa full perawatan sebulan sekali, dsb. Seneng banget. 

3. PAST: Dulu saya pusing si M main KTV. Kalau engak main sama temannya yang di SG, main sama temennya yang di Malaysia. Dan KTVnya yang hanky panky aka ada cewek escortnya gitu yah. Udah gak bisa minum alkohol gara2 operasi jantung bypass kemarin itu, terus ke KTV ngapain coba? masa nyanyi doang? gak percaya saya. 

Terus saya kasih tau, eh saya gak nyaman lho kan kamu pacar saya dan kita komitmen mau nikah tapi kamunya masih sering ke KTV gitu. Serius kamu cuman nyanyi2 aja? kan diruangan KTV-nya pasti banyak cewek2 escort yang pakaiannya skimpy. Serius kamu bisa tahan engak grepe2 mereka? Masa kamu lebih nyaman melihat cewek escort sexy itu daripada pacarmu sendiri. Sampai stress lho saya kalau ada teman Malaysianya main ke SG, karena awal2nya saya pasti disuruh nemenin mereka makan dan habis itu mereka second round lanjut ke KTV dan of course saya disuruh pulang. Terus kalau saya voice out, langsung di Gas Lighting bilangnya percaya dong sama pacar sendiri, saya-nya yang halusinasi kali atau langsung marah dan uncontactable for few days. Pikir2 lagi manipulatif banget yah si M. 

Sampai trauma saya kalau sudah gak balas text or angkat telpon, pasti pikiran saya jadi gundah, apalagi kalau cicinya cariin M ada di tempat saya atau tidak. Soalnya kalau tidak ke casino, M  pasti ke KTV. Sampai saya posesif banget akhirnya sampai telpon/ text berulang kali, video call cuma untuk tahu dia lagi dimana. Suka cek2 hapenya sampe akhirnya passwordnya diganti. Yah salah saya juga sih mengecek2 kayak detektif gitu, tetapi kalau awalnya saya gak dibohongi dan dibohongi berulang kali, gak mungkin saya jadi se-posesif gitu kan? Gimana caranya build trust tapi selalu dibohongi? Selalu si M bilang harus percaya 100% sama dia tapi dia dan perilakunya yang selalu buat saya gak percaya.

Kebohongan demi kebohongan selalu keluar dari mulutnya kalau lagi kumat judi atau KTV. Dan berulang kali saya termakan rayuannya akhirnya baikan.  Janji untuk tidak judi lagi juga hanya semata kebohongan belaka. Eh beberapa bulan lagi, begitu lagi. Sifat dan kebiasaan jelek memang susah diubah. Selama 3 tahun perjalanan kami, every problem will be hidden under the rug. Kalau saya voice out, langsung di Gas Lighting. Super manipulative nih anak. 

NOW: Sekarang saya dan pacar baru saya adalah pasangan tua yang boring. Jangankan ke KTV, telat pulang malam aja udah panik. Masih diluar diatas jam 10 malam udah ngantuk. Ngantuknya bukan main. Kami habis kerja, dinner bareng, terus langsung pulang. Itupun gak sampai jam 930pm keatas. Mata udah 5watt bok. Belum lagi ritual skincare bisa 1 jam lebih. Makanya no drama deh. 

Wong kami orangnya serius dengan relationship kami. 

Doi orangnya, gak suka main cewek, gak suka mabok2an, gak suka KTV, gak suka judi, gak suka makan manis2, dan gak suka diluar gawe2 gitu.

Doi orangnya, anak rumahan, sukanya wine (classy!), hobinya nabung, dan jangankan judi, masuk ke casino aja gak pernah. Dan bagusnya lagi hobinya gowes, olahraga.

Jadi saya gak suka yang namanya posesif , ini juga semenjak saya kerja dari rumah dan doi ngantor, kami jarang texting selama jam kerja, semua fokus kerja dengan benar selama jam kerja. Terus selesai kerja, langsung pulang.  Repeat. Ini aja saya ada access ke hp doi tapi jarang tuh buka dan cek2, lha ngapain si doi orangnya lurus kok. Vice versa, doi tahu password hp saya dan saya juga gak keberatan dia cek or buka sebab saya bersih kok, saya gak ada hal yang harus disembunyikan juga. Cek yah cek aja. Saya gak takut. 

4. PAST: Terus saya juga kurang sreg sama keluarga M. Beda culture beda bahasa.

Masa Cicinya udah tau adiknya salah (judi, ktv, utang bank) tapi masih membela adiknya daripada saya. Saya yang orang benar, gak judi, gak ktv, bersih financially, tapi kalau saya nasehati adiknya malah gak terima. Terus banyak ikut campur persoalan saya dan si M jadi saya pikir kok berasanya saya pacaran dengan cicinya yah daripada pacaran sama si M. hahaha. Kocak juga sekarang kalau dipikir2 kembali. 

Terus menurut saya, salah cicinya sih sebab si M itu enak banget, semenjak cicinya kawin dan punya HDB sendiri, diberilah satu common room untuk si M . Jadi keenakan dia, gak usah bayar uang listrik dan sewa rumah. Toiletries, groceries, dan dinner pun gratis. Gak ada tanggung jawab sama sekali. Malahan pernah pas kapan si M pengangguran dan cuma depend on Uber's salary, dikasih uang jajan daily/ weekly gitu sama cicinya, udah lupa saya detailnya pokoknya begitu deh. Kayak gitu mah anaknya gak bakalan mandiri deh, jadi useless gitu. Makanya selama pacaran, saya selalu "maaf" menganggap remeh si M karena emang financially dan physically gak mandiri. Saya aja dulu masih seminggu sekali kerumahnya do his laundry. Jadi babu. Sampai sering berantem lho kami, sebab saya gak tahan liat dia sering bangun telat, malas, gak pikir panjang dan berencana jangka panjang, bisanya ngomong aja terus ngiri kalau ada temannya sukses atau lebih daripada dia. Tukang sirik orangnya. Jadi pikir2 lagi kok mau yah saya sama dia!? *roll eyes*

Nah soal bahasa, saya fasih bahasa Inggris, tapi kalau lagi marah bahasa Inggrisnya langsung jago. Saking jagonya gak memilah2 lagi kosakatanya. Yah udah asal buka mulut langsung kata2 vulgar keluar. Terus salahnya saya dan si M dulu kami suka texting, salah banget, harusnya kalau pacaran langsung ngomong face to face dan jangan texting melulu 24/7 apalagi pas lagi jam kerja. Dan jangan coba menyelesaikan masalah via texting or calling. Pasti kan gak keliatan body language and facial expressionnya, jadinya salah paham. Terus emang si M sukanya Manipulatif dan Gas Lighting juga, jadi ada masalah yah ngeles dia, terus saya konfrontasi bukannya solve masalah bersama2 eh malah berantem. Di dia-nya bilang lagi adem ayem kenapa cari masalah, padahal saya gak mau cari masalah, cuma mau ngobrol untuk menyelesaikan masalah. Terus sering banget dia bilang, saya halusinasi, kebanyakan nonton film/ news gak benar. Terus akhirnya last blast, uncontactable lagi. Bukannya menyelesaikan masalah, malah menghilang. Sampai goyah lho iman saya digituin, gila kan...

Terakhir, sehabis konfrontasi pasti ujung2nya dihukum saya, plan for weekend gagal, dia gak bisa dihubungi entah kemana, terus saya akan disalahkan atas apa yang terjadi selama dia menghilang (aka pergi gamble lagi, bilangnya karena berantem terus galau terus masuk casino lagi untuk relieve stress atau mau cepat selesai bayar hutang makanya gamble). 

Dan paling sebelnya, saya suka banget diajak makan siang atau makan malam sama keluarga mereka diluar. Makan malam mulainya jam 830pm keatas. Terus setelah makan, ditodong suruh bayar. Ditodong sama si M sih bukan sama keluarganya. Gila aja mereka keluarga besar bertujuh : Si M , father, cici, suaminya cici, toddler 2, mom in law VS saya sendiri. Sekali makan di Dian Xiao Er atau PuTien bisa habis $200-$300 karena pesennya banyak banget dan saya gak kebagian mesen, cuman makan saja, itupun makan dikit karena sudah terlalu malam dan saya lagi diet, tiba2 bill datang saya langsung disuruh mengeluarkan kartu kredit untuk bayar. Yah pertamanya saya syok, terus menolak, Kedua-tiga kali, berantem besar, sampai2 saya trauma udah gak mau lagi kalau diajak makan. Terus begitu saya voice out gak nyaman diajak makan keluarga besar dan ditodong bayar setelahnya, M bilangnya justru saya harus bayar supaya bisa memberi good impression kepada keluarga mereka kalau saya mampu dan mandiri, it's like wtf? kenapa gak lu aja bayar semua untuk membuktikan kalau lu mampu dan mandiri, saya gak butuh tuh keluar uang banyak hanya untuk mencari muka dan untuk membuktikan sesuatu. Ini mah namanya Robbery in the broad day light. Tingkat tinggi. 

Terus satu lagi, kan kalau kadang cewek stress itu kan suka ngedumel sendiri yah, atau curhat ke pasangan gitu. Yah sebagai pasangan, gak usah kasih pendapat or solusi sih sebenarnya, tinggal pasang kuping aja, nanti setelah selesai ngedumel juga baik sendiri kok, namanya juga cewek. Nah kalau saya sama si M , gak boleh lho curhat sama dia,pasti kena omel. Jadi misal saya curhat uneq2 masalah kantor or apa, terus dia langsung bilang eh gak boleh gitu, kita sebagai orang kristen harus holy dan taat, misalnya. Padahal sendirinya udah ceramah soal kekristenan tetep saja perilakunya tidak mencerminkan kekristenan. Terus akhirnya, yang awalnya saya mau curhat, akhirnya berantem, jadi sepertinya memang dia tidak perduli sama saya dan perasaan saya. Saya harus senantiasa holy dan sempurna didepan dia. Dan di dunia ini cuman dia dan dia saja (narcissistic-red flag). Sampai lama2 saya belajar dari pengalaman saya sendiri dan akhirnya tidak mau curhat lagi sama dia. Ngapain. Ujung2nya bertengkar. 

Yang paling saya takutkan adalah kami bertengkar, jantungnya dia kambuh lagi. Terus saya lagi yang disalahkan. 

Pokoknya sengsara deh.

Serba salah. 

Hidup penuh ketakutan. 

Hidup penuh kekhawatiran. 

NOW: Sekarang saya walaupun sesama Indonesian, tapi beda agama. Tapi so far kami saling memahami dan mengerti satu sama lain. Tenggang rasa. Emang sih kadang2 kangen sama lagu rohani yah sudah saya dengernya pas doi lagi gak ada. Suka nyanyi2 lagunya Maria Shandi juga di kamar mandi tapi gak apa tuh gak pernah marah or tersinggung si doi. Malah hobi kami sekarang nonton Indonesian movie di Netflix. Sama hunting makanan Indonesia dan durian. Terus hobi kami adalah Olahraga di taman sekitar rumah. 

Happiness is not coming from money but it's simply state of mind.

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Yah udahlah sekian dulu, capek ngetiknya. 

Terimakasih udah baca this wordy post ini, uneg2 saya udah selesai, sudah mendingan sekarang.

Tolong didoakan semoga saya cepat move on dari pengalaman buruk saya dan bisa langgeng sama yang baru ini. 

Amin. 

-Debbie- 

Post Circuit Breaker thoughts

It's been few months since the last post.

This year 2020, it has been 8 months since Covid -19 pandemic here in the world, many people impacted by this pandemic, either physically and mentally, some financially. Paycut, unemployment is on the high rise.

Not only that, new normal, lockdown, tele-commuting, second wave of Covid-19, paper toilet fighting in the supermarket, Presidential election, Beirut blast, China-US tension, Whitehouse shooting.  So many bad happening in this world.

However, we have some good news, too. Vaccine is coming out soon, NDP virtual celebration instead of gathering in Marina, people are stronger and closer (virtually/ not physically) in this difficult situation.

The country that hit hard by Covid -19 surprisingly is the first world country such as America.

My heart goes to everyone out there.

It's not the disease that kill us, it's the idiocy that kill us. And we call them, Covidiot.

Still many people protest about mask regulation and social distancing rules, they said wearing mask is like taking their freedom away to breathe freely, whereas the facts is, wearing mask is to prevent you from Covid-19, which can cause difficulty in breathing.

Many Covid un-symptomatic people still attend to big gathering and party, unknowingly pass the virus to larger crowd and more and more people get infected. Really angry with people selfishly celebrate party and gather crowd in this Covid situation. Then shamelessly post it in their social media.

The myths about Covid only affected to elder generation is bullshit. Even young and healthy 25 year old man also knock down by Covid -19. Yes, he can recover but he suffered from breathing difficulty, cough, lost of smell and tastebud, depending on ventilator 24/7 until he got recovered. After recovery, his lung will never be the same again as Covid has damaged the lungs and it will not fully 100% recover.

And elderly people who got hit by Covid-19, 99% will be linked to their past health condition. So either they will suffer from the virus itself, or they will suffer from their past condition such as diabetes, high blood, heart problems, cholesterol, you name it.

So guys, don't underestimate Covid-19, please. Stay distancing. Wearing your mask outside. Sanitize your hand. Eat healthily and regular exercise.

Be responsible citizen of the world.

Let's fight this Covid together :-)

-Debbie-

Thanksgiving 2020

It’s been almost 2 months Circuit Breaker implementation in Singapore.

Meaning we have been working from home, takeout food and eat at home, go out only to buy groceries at nearby supermarket. Bake and cook new dishes. Wear mask every time go out of the house. Getting angry when internet down. Lots of Concall and Skype meeting back to back. Taking 15mins power nap in between. Lots of house chores and home organizing stuffs. Homebased facial and hair treatment…And… tons of spare time to do reflection.

Here are one of my reflection points.

1. Thankful to God for approving my Citizenship in a perfect timing

Let me share with you my testimony.

It started 3 years ago whereby it’s been 12 years that I’m living in Singapore and it’s time for me considering to be Singaporean. Since I have my daughter studying and living here too, why not?

And my ex-bf (that fucking gambler) is also PR and we were planning to build a family and buy HDB/ applying BTO in a cheapest possible way. 

So, in 2016 I applied citizenship and waited for approximately 14 months, just to hear that my application was rejected without any reason. I was so broken heart and scattered into pieces, my plan of getting hitch and buy HDB together is postpone, at least for another year.

So I re-applied online again and booked the interview date on 14 Nov 2018, just a day after my birthday and submitted all the application again.

.

Something happened and we broke up terribly.  (basically because of his gamble addict la)

.

Literally, I'm telling to myself even if my application successfully approved, I don’t really need it since it doesn’t apply to me anymore. No more plans to buy HDB or applying BTO. How to apply when I’m alone. 

 .

However, good things come in an unexpected way!

19 November 2019…1 year 5 days…my application was approved!

And 4 March 2020, I’ve taken oath and officially become Singaporean! Yup, took 4 months to get necessary documents legalized, renounced my Indonesian citizenship and taken Singaporean Oath. 

Although now I don’t have intention to buy HDB or apply BTO anymore, I’ll just use the advantage of Singapore passport as it is the second strongest passport in the world.

Now thinking back, I feel glad that my first application was rejected. 

If my first application was approved when I was together with my ex, we would’ve proceeded with getting hitch and start buying HDB on that year. 

End up, he would still be a gambler and finished all of our money, on top of HDB money.

I can foresee that I would be left alone paying out HDB + his debt by myself.

So really BIG THANK to GOD to allow this to happened, to allow the rejection and then granted it in His beautiful timing... Thank God for your protection. Amen. 

2. Thankful to God, for given me good and understanding partner.

Earlier 2019, I found my new love.

We are like heaven and earth.

Ying and Yang.

Kopi and Susu.

I am chatterbox, extrovert.

He is quiet, shy, introvert.

Totally different personality.

Despite our difference, we are getting along very well. Most importantly, he’s good and treating me like princess. He’s mature mentally and physically, and most importantly he’s healthy, faithful, patient, understanding, and provides for me. He gives me 1000% assurance and emotional support.

Basically, I don’t need to worry about him, because he’s not into gambling, not interested in KTV, not straying with bad friends. I don’t need to worry so much because he is a good and responsible man. 

3. Thankful to God, for giving me job security, no paycut, and time to learn new things.

Now after I found the right partner and no need to worry about stupid stuffs anymore. I have more time for me and myself.

I started to go gym and classes regularly, start my pampered treatment in monthly basis, start my new fondly passion: cooking and baking. 

Start caring for Giselle again, spend time with her more.
Start caring for my Jakarta family again.

And the biggest blessing is to have our own commute for our convenience. And I’m thankful for that 😊

In conclusion, even now we are stuck at home due to circuit breaker, I am thankful that I’m stuck at home. With him. 

And I'm still counting my gratitude....

Thank God.  

-Debbie- 

Oath of Renounciation, Allegiance, and Loyalty.

This post is the continuation of the previous post.

KBRI legalization of SURAT AHU SAKE letter and surrender Indonesia Passport.

After you surrender Indonesia passport and get the AHU SAKE letter legalized in KBRI, the next working day, you will need to collect it in the afternoon. 

KBRI morning operating hour is 9am-12pm- morning strictly for submission. 

Afternoon operating hour 230pm-5pm- Noon strictly for collection. 

As I’m writing this post right now (March 2020), the whole world suffer from COVID-19 breakout, so every building, offices, embassies will have temperature screening hence expect delay in entering the embassy building. 

Bring cold water to cool down your body temperature especially in a hot sunny day in Singapore. The reason is because when I went to KBRI, they have this temperature check, the thermometer broke and always measured 37C and above. I guess its because of the weather outside, not because fever. But the security guard didn't let me in. Luckily I have ice water in my car so just took that to cool down my "forehead" temperature. Silly. 

Bring the collection slip to level 2, counter 12 to get the legalized documents. Then go to level 1 (no need to take queue number) and take your “Tanda terima penyerahan passport” and that’s all. You are done for the day.

So until Oath and applying SG passport, basically you cant go out of the country.

Update as per 26 March 2020

Due to Covid-19 pandemic, KBRI doesnt allow to walk-in anymore. Please send email to singapura.kbri@kemlu.go.id to book appointment, after they replied, print it, and show it to security guard before entering the premise.

ICA- Oath of Renounciation, Allegiance, and Loyalty

During your appointment time, please bring 2 photocopy of each documents

• AHU SAKE Indonesia version, original downloaded from AHU SAKE website
• KBRI legalized documents (without photo)
• Tanda terima penyerahan passport in Bahasa Indonesia, don’t worry, no need to translate as ICA knows our format of this document.

and bring original: 

• Singapore blue IC
• 3copy of passport-sized photos
• ICA letter

It’s okay to come earlier as you will still need to take queue number and waiting for queue number.

ICA- Singapore Passport Application Form (level 1 deposit box)

Bring 3 copies of the passport photos and since you making trip to ICA already, you can prepare the SG Passport Application Form and paste your passport-sized photo(x1) in the form as well.

ICA is very efficient, and I still can’t believe it only took less than 1 hour for me to finish all the submission of documents, oath-taking, and drop SG Passport Application form. Compare to my trip to KBRI at least I need 1/2day to finish my errand, well, talking about efficiency!

So the ceremony will be 3-6months from now and it will be conducted in GRC nearby your neighborhood. In the ceremony, they will pass us the Singapore citizenship certificate and pink IC.

Meantime, ICA gave me temporary slip and punch-hole my blue IC, which means my blue IC can’t be used anymore. However if you need both certificate and pink IC urgently for housing or school or work relate, you may email them to voice out.

ICA- Singapore Passport Collection

Using the email/ mail notification letter, go to ICA level 3 for passport collection. Scan the IC/ barcode in the notification letter to get queue number. It took me less than 40mins to get my passport. Hence kudos for Singapore’s efficiency again!

Here’s the timeline (for my gold-fish memory)

Oath taking- Wednesday, 4 March @915am

SG Passport application- same day, just drop box. (if you do online application, can do it the next day) 

SG Passport collection- Thursday, 12 March @1.30pm

Pink IC collection- Friday, 20 March @8am~4pm convenient time.

And finally I’ve graduated. Another phase of my life 😊

Glorious to God.

Amen.

-Debbie-

Indonesia Citizenship Renounciation via AHU SAKE

Updated as per 5 Dec 2025, (in Italic)

Hello,


First of all, congratulation to you! 

Finally your long awaited citizen application is approved and the journey starts from now.

Here are some guide after you received your approval in-principal letter from ICA.

Note: if you applied together with your family, the approval in principal will only state your name, you'll receive the approval letter both for you and your child. So just wait for it 😊

STEP 1: Complete the Singapore Citizenship Journey

You need to complete it within 2 months from the date in the approval in-principal letter. They will send you reminder prior to the due date. 

There are 4 parts in the journey:

First thing to take note is to book immediately the Singapore Experiential Tour (weekly time slot) and the Community Sharing Session (once a month time slot). This is important as sometimes their available slots are really limited and might not be able to book within 2 months period.

1. Singapore Experiential Tour – it is half-day guided tour, you need to choose a set of place and just book the next available slots. As for me, I booked set H-the Malay Heritage Centre and PUB Exhibition Centre in Marina Barrage. Once you booked, you'll receive email confirmation and SMS reminder on that day.   

2. Community Sharing Session – They will assign you to the nearest Community Center. For 3 hours session, they will tell you on how to contribute to the society, to get to know your neighbor, and etc. Dinner will be provided, so please come with your empty stomach 😊 Again, SMS reminder on that day and remember to wear formal business clothes and cover shoes. I saw people being kicked out for wearing sandals/ uncovered shoes! 

3. Singapore Citizenship E-journey - you'll need to watch video and answer some quiz about Singapore history. That will take about 1 hour approximately.

4. Post Survey Questionnaire- Not compulsory.

STEP 2: Citizenship Approval Letter.

After completion of the Singapore Citizenship Journey, you'll get an approval letter within a week. There will be an instruction that you need to formally renounce your Indonesian citizenship before the appointment date that has been assigned to you. if you can't make it, you can change the appointment online up to 3 attempts from ICA website. Please be wise as you only have 3 chances to amend the date. And if you change the date, do not forget to print out / save as pdf your appointment confirmation.


STEP 3: RENOUNCIATION OF INDONESIA CITIZENSHIP- PREPARATION OF DOCUMENTS 

Starting from 2 January 2020, KBRI will not entertain citizenship renunciation and it will go to Kementrian Hukum Umum and Hak Asasi Manusia via online application: AHU SAKE website. 

Website page: https://kewarganegaraan.ahu.go.id/backend/login

First thing first, before you apply AHU SAKE online, here are the documents that needed to be prepared. 

3a. Get the final ICA letter translated by sworn translator and notarized by Indonesia notary public office.

As Kementrian Hukum Umum and Hak Asasi Manusia  (our Indonesia government) needs any foreign documents to be translated from English to Bahasa Indonesia and notarized by local notary in Indonesia, I will need to go to the nearest local notary office, Batam. 

Updated as per 5 Dec 2025

So, what I first did is to get translation company in Singapore to translate the documents (Mr. Anwar+65 9650 5794 at People's Park Complex #04-04, cost $30-$50 per page, fixed rate), stamped with the sworn translator stamp, and then took ferry to Batam to find local Indonesian Notary office, below info:

Bun Hai, SH, M.Kn

Komp. Acellence Blok A no 17

Jalan Pasir Putih Batam Center.

T: 0778- 7483511

Email: bunhai_ng@yahoo.com

Just call/email them and book appointment in advance, at least they know you’re coming on that day and don’t forget to prepare all original documents for them to verify before notarize the documents.

My fault is that I didn’t know that Kementrian Hukum Umum and Hak Asasi Manusia doesn’t accept foreign notary hence I spent $300 plus to get the documents translated and notarized by SAL (Singapore Academy Law) and MFA (Ministry of Foreign Affairs). So few hundreds dollar just wasted like that.

3b. Since I'm making trip to Batam for a day, I got my birth certificate (akte lahir) and passport (photocopy) to be notarized as well. For those married, ROM certificate needs to be translated and notarized as well. Please bring all the original documents for verification purposes.

3c. Take passport sized photo, using red background and print out 4x6cm for 2 pages for hardcopy submission. Updated 5 Dec 2025: now they also accept white background. 

3d. Naturalization letter is the letter approval from ICA. Get it translated into Bahasa Indonesia and stamped by sworn translator, again, can use Pak Anwar's services. Get 2 copies and bring it to Batam to legalize the document as well. I’m abit kiasu so I took letter ICA part 1 and 2 to get it translated and legalized.

Updated as per 5 Dec 2025: Now all the Indonesia's documents have to be legalized back in DukCaPil or the government office that issued your document originally. E.g: if your birt cert issued by DukCaPil in Jakarta Barat, you have to go back to Jakarta, go to that particular DukCaPil office (kantor kecamatan or kelurahan) to get it legalize there. 

So how to find them: several options, either you Googlemap, ask your parents back in hometown, or download IKD Apps (Identitas Kependudukan Digital) via AppStore/PlayStore. Personally I just get to know this news recently, so I don't have first-hand experience. 

In conclusion, for Batam trip I brought:

- Birth certificate (akte lahir)

- Passport (photocopy)

- ICA letter (English and Bahasa version) 

- ROM cert (if married)

- Rupiah

After that, scan all the documents above into softcopy files. You are ready to apply online. 

STEP 3/4: AS PER 16 MARCH 2020, NOW KBRI CAN NOTARIZE THE DOCUMENTS FOR $35 $40 PER PAGES. CAN SOMEONE VERIFY THIS? --> VERIFIED AS PER 2 OCT 2021, KBRI CANNOT DO NOTARIZATION OF THE DOCUMENTS FOR THIS MATTER. 

UPDATE AS PER 2 OCT 2021

Now a lot of Indonesia notary can do video-call/ tele-service for notarization matter, so you do not need to come down to their office (which means fly to Indonesia) to get the notarized documents. However, be prepared of additional fees. Alternatively, if you still have relatives in Indonesia, can ask them to help.

Updated as per 5 Dec 2025: Now KBRI can provide legalization of documents that issued by KBRI, such as Indonesia's birthcert, Indonesia passport issued by KBRI, Surat Catatan Pernikahan/Perceraian. Price is fixed rate $40 per document. Paynow/QR Code, NO CC/Paywave payment in KBRI Singapura. 

STEP 4: RENOUNCIATION OF INDONESIA CITIZENSHIP- AHU SAKE

Now, go to https://sake.ahu.go.id/ 

New Website page: https://kewarganegaraan.ahu.go.id/backend/login

and register your account online. It will only take 5 mins to complete your account ID and password.

Then log in using your account ID and password, you will go to dashboard.

There are 8 options to choose, please choose one according to your category/ nearest to your category. For me, I chose: Permohonan Surat Keterangan Kehilangan Kewarganegaraan RI atas kemauan sendiri bagi orang yang belum memperoleh kewarganegaraan asing

And just follow the instruction by filling in your particular such as name, address, NIK (NIT in KK or KTP number). 

Things to take note:

1. Tanggal akta lahir is the issue date of birth certificate, not your birth date.

2.  Surat Keterangan Naturalisasi is your ROC-20XX-APP-XXXX number stated in ICA letter, and not your IC number.

Please ensure you fill in particular correctly and generate the “Surat Permohonan” in PDF file. Later you will need to print this and stick the “materai Rp. 6,000,-“ materai Rp. 10,000,-  and signed. 

Surat Permohonan looks like this:

Please use latest "materai" (stamp) which green colour as above and when you stick it and sign it, do sign your signature bigger than usual, in-between the materai and paper, to ensure that both sides (of materai and paper) have your signature. Minor but important thing. 

UPDATE AS PER 2 OCTOBER 2021

Now all the materai changed to Rp. 10,000.

Then, the system will ask you to upload necessary documents. Here when you have prepared all the required documents and scan it into softcopy files. 

I uploaded softcopy:

1.  Birth Certification in Bahasa Indonesia, original softcopy
2.  Indonesia passport, original softcopy.
3. ICA Letter translated (from ENG to INDO) and notarized by local notary office.
4. Passport photo sized 4x6cm softcopy, red / white color background, upload using JPEG file. Remember to cut off the white border line. 
5.  Reference number and proof of payment (in dashboard, view)

UPDATE AS PER 2 OCT 2021

Although Kartu Keluarga (KK) and Kartu Tanda Penduduk (KTP) were not mentioned/ asked in the application, my friend been asked by SAKE people to upload both KK and KTP legalized by local notary. And if you have the old expired KTP and have not converted to e-KTP, just give the old expired KTP, they are ok with it. 

Please prepare both document in the beginning, just in case if they ask....

Update as per 5 Dec 2025

If old KK (no barcode) need to legalize in your area's DukCaPil in Indonesia. 

If new KK (which has barcode) no need to legalize.

I think the documents that required to submit will be vary depending on the category. I’m not sure about other category since my category is “Citizenship renunciation under my own because I’ve not already gotten others citizenship”. I have a friend that choose category: “Citizenship renunciation follows husband/ wife” and her requirement is slightly different from mine, she needs to upload ROM certificate. So just follow the instruction inside website.

After uploaded, it will bring you to the page that contain of payment information. Surat Perintah Bayar looks like this:

There are 2 ways of payment mode:

1. Make online bank transfer and print out/ saved the proof of payment and go to dashboard to upload your proof of payment for them to start processing. 

2. Some people went down to BNI bank in Cecil Street to make a payment, for this payment mode, you need to go down 2x, 1 time for transfer the payment, you will get blue receipt from BNI, and 1 more time to take the white receipt and this white receipt is to be uploaded inside the AHU website as a proof of payment.

Upload the proof of receipt in dashboard, upload bukti pembayaran and once they confirm, the red X will turn into green tick or bola-bola

Last step, this is very important. Express courier/ Express mail out the photocopy of above documents together with materai and signed “Surat Permohonan in PDF file” latest 7 working days after your online submission. I used DHL  express cost $54 and need 2 working days to reach Jakarta office. This need to be fast since it’s already half way there in their system and they need hardcopy to continue the process. 

The Hardcopy as follows:

1. Birth Certification in Bahasa Indonesia, photocopied and legalized by local DukCaPil office in Indonesia. notarized by local notary office in Batam.

2. Indonesia passport, photocopied and legalized by KBRI. notarized by local notary office in Batam.n

3. ICA Letter needs to translated (from ENG to INDO), photocopied and notarized by local notary office.

4. Passport photo sized 4x6cm, RED or white background, print for 2pcs for hardcopy submission.

5. Reference number and proof of payment (in dashboard, view, print). 

Added:

6. Kartu Keluarga (KK), photocopied and legalized by local DukCaPil office in Indonesia, if its old KK, need to legalize, the new KK with barcode, no need to legalized. and notarized by local notary office.

7. Kartu Tanda Penduduk (KTP) either e-KTP or old expired KTP will suffice, photocopied and notarized by local notary office.

6.

A

The mailing address is:

Direktorat Tata Negara, Direktorat Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum.

Kementerian Hukum dan Hak Asasi Manusia Republik Indonesia.

Gedung Direktorat Jenderal Administrasi Hukum Umum.

Jl. HR. Rasuna Said Kav 6-7, Kuningan Jakarta Selatan, Kode Pos: 12940. 

Attention: 

Email: cs@ahu.go.id or subdit.kewarganegaraan@gmail.com   

Phone: +62 21 14077 or +62 21 525 3004

Alternatively, if you have relatives staying in Jakarta, leverage to them to pass it to the office directly. 

Rules of thumb is upload the original softcopy and send the hardcopy of photocopy notarized to Jakarta office for their verification purposes. Only ICA letter needs to be translated into Bahasa and notarized by the local notary (Batam) 

After that, the status in website looks like this: Status 1-5 will be grey color.

Updated as per 5 Dec, the colour circle, we call it now, "bola-bola" LOL

If the color shows yellow, means something wrong with your submission or uploaded wrong documents and need to re-do again.

Green color means already verified, so if all green color means good and waiting for the surat keterangan from AHU. Green color= we called it cendol. hahaha. 

Red color means rejected.

Then after that, waiting game…. Since the system is quite new so I kind of understand lots of frustration and sleepless night waiting for approval.

For my case I sent the first batch on 5 February 2020 then sent the second batch on 13 February. The goal is to have 5 green ticks (approval). 

Tick 1: 17 Feb 2020

Tick 2: 18 Feb 2020

Tick 3, 4 and 5: 26 Feb. 2020

Received AHU letter on 26 Feb 2020

You can check status at dashboard, view.

And this is the sample of uploading the correct documents and got verified (sesuai) 

It took about 7-10 working days from the documents received by them, process, and verified. Be patient :-)

Finally I received email notification from AHU and download surat keterangan from website. 

STEP 5: TRANSLATE TO ENGLISH, GO TO KBRI TO LEGALISE THE DOCUMENT AND SURRENDER YOUR INDONESIAN PASSPORT. 

It is in Bahasa Indonesia so again, you’ll need to translate it into English and get legalized by KBRI Singapura. I used Pak Anwar for fast and affordable translation service, $30 $50 per page and next day ready for collection. Asked 2 copies from him. 1 copy with picture and 1 copy without picture. 

Next day, you can go to KBRI Singapura to legalize the AHU translated letter and surrender your passport.

Firstly, register at counter first, tell them you'd like to go to consuler service.

Go to level 2 counter 12 and give the documents to be legalized, as follows:

1 AHU SAKE Indo version-original

1 AHU SAKE English version-original (with picture)

1 AHU SAKE English version-original (without picture)

Wait for the receipt and go to level 1 to pay $35 $40 legalization fee by cash and surrender passport, don’t forget to take photo of your passport (for last time) as reference, because after this, you don’t have Indonesia passport anymore.

The next working day, you can go back to take the legalized translated documents and since you already know when the KBRI documents will be ready, re-arrange date with ICA for Oath of Renounciation, Allegiance, and Loyalty. I suggest to get the KBRI slip first before changing the ICA date, just for certainty. Just stay in Singapore and postpone business trip (if any) during this period of time as you don’t have passport to go out of the country.

UPDATE AS PER 2 OCT 2021

Now you need to call or email to book appointment before coming down to KBRI. Tell them that you need to come for 1. surrender passport. 2. legalize documents of above mentioned. They will reply you with this email confirmation, please bring this upon visitation. 

And now you're become stateless. 

One more step to become Singaporean. 

Next post, ICA for Oath of Renounciation, Allegiance, and Loyalty

Stay tune.

-Debbie-