The break up.
After 2 years and 5 months of relationship with him. Lots of arguments, break up, patch back, and break up again, we were like running in a circle getting nowhere.
Firstly, I wasn’t sure that we are in the same direction of building a family and save $ to buy house together. Some time I felt myself saving $ hard enough and then when I checked on his saving, he just said, yes, he’s saving but he didn’t go into detail. When I asked detail, he will be upset and angry and here comes the punishment again. So I better not to ask/talk about it. And he always said that whatever he’s doing (including gambling) is actually to earn more money for our future. And to proof to his brother in law that he can be good person earning decent money. Well, I guess it’s the only excuses he can come up with, to justify his behavior. Hello, Prince, WAKE UP. there’s no shortcut to earn quick money. Perseverance, discipline, hard work, and abit of luck in order to earn quick bucks which he doesn't have that traits at all.
Secondly, gamble addiction. Although he has applied casino banned but its only for 1 year, but after a year, he can lift up the ban whenever he wants. During first year of our relationship, he banned himself from entering MBS casino for a year but still going to Genting multiple times and lost tons of RM. Then second year, after his first operation, he went in MBS again using insurance money and lost tons of SGD. The lumpsum insurance money from the bank is supposed to pay off his current debt, all wasted into casino in just one night. Not only casino addiction, he also addicted to all sort of gamble such as 4D, TOTO, and soccer bet. He can just spend RM10k in few matches and then resort to casino to so called recoup for the losses. End up he lost more because obviously you can’t win casino.
Hence gamble addiction took tolls in our relationship. I am so fucking tired of making plans with him of repaying the bank debt, because every time he went berserk in casino, it only took 1-3 consecutive nights to get in a huge debt (we’re talking about few thousand and thousand SGD here), and it will take 8-14 months to recover. Every time the debt amount is depleting, and we are on track of paying debt, he will gone berserk again, uncontactable nights, and the amount of debt will be piling up again.
It’s not only once, it happens twice, thrice, and in fact, multiple times. I even develop trauma whereby when he got lots of money, he will be wasting all in casino again. Only idiots like me can preserve for that long (coz I wanted to be in relationship badly), other girls will immediately leave him the second he broke his promise. Well, I really pity to his sister coz she has to take all of his shit and has no other choice coz he's the only sibling that she has.
But I have a CHOICE though, and wise choice I’ve CHOSEN 😊 Never felt so good in my life having my own money, buying bags, go gym/ spa/ nail membership package to pamper myself.
Thirdly, he likes to do something that I’m not comfortable with. Many times I told him that I don’t feel comfortable of him patronizing KTV in Lavender or Jalan Besar since it’s very famous of hanky panky KTV. If he wants to sing karaoke, please sing in normal karaoke like Family KTV or Manekineko together with me. And I don’t feel comfortable if he’s still meeting his ex-KTV girlfriend (or friends with benefit, since they were not official back then but slept together many times, he was such a loser). But instead of understanding my feeling, he kept going behind my back. He thinks that I don’t know few nights before his aorta accident he was patronizing KTV with one of his Chinese friends and back home quite late at that night, took MC the next day to recover before went out to drive grab again in the evening until he met the accident. Yeah. Instant karma of doing hanky panky stuff behind my back. Last time I felt so pity of him having this accident at a very young age. Now thinking back, I think he really deserve it right. God has eyes.
Fourthly, ok I might sound petty here but a guy who can’t even make his own bed every morning, won’t be able to make plan for his own life, right? I heard a saying, “if you want to change the world, start off by making your own bed”. Not only he can’t make his own bed, he can’t even wake up on time. Always 1-1.5 hour late for work. Every single day. And often take taxi to work. Wow rich guy. Lol. If I were his boss, I will fire him straight away!
Then because of we’re living separately, I need to give a morning call every day until to the point that he scolded me coz I’m disturbing his sleep! That’s the first year of our relationship. Then the second year of our relationship I have already learnt my lesson and sometime I have early morning meeting so it's quite busy in the morning and didn’t have a chance to call him. he will say why am I so cold, stop calling to wake him wtf. Hellooo Prince of Kedah, I’m not your mother or sister or babysitter! You better find domestic helper la rather than girlfriend.
I even can recall the argument in one of Friday morning when he slept over to my place and I woke him up to go work together, I MUST wake him up VERY gently in order not to piss him off. And if I’m failed to do it, the plans for weekend will be goneeee…(punishment to cancel the weekend plan). Think about it, he really so abusive and manipulative in words and stupid me who gotten into this trap many times. Again, just because I want to be in relationship so badly. Not because I love him. Who’s on earth will love this stupid, full of pride, addicted to gamble, no money, no discipline, eczema, fat, and unhealthy guy? Oh, have. Those Thai/Viet KTV girl who super uneducated and wants to get dependent pass in Singapore. Perfect Match.
Lastly, I think I make it to a point that I don’t care about him and his gamble addiction anymore. When he told me he’s lost in casino again I was like oh ok. No feeling anymore. Last time I will go berserk and quickly plan for recovery stage but now, sorry I got no more feeling and I dont buy this shit anymore. I rather not waste my time (and my youth, money, energy) together with him and start to plan my future. I rather be ALONE, happy and contented, rather than BANKRUPT together with him. I have wasted 3 years of my life and few thousand SGD, and I don’t want to waste anymore.
So the last stage before we broke up, he actually still ask me for $1k for him to go in casino and win back again, he said $1k is very small amount but I told him yeah very small amount for you but it's my 1.5months room rental for me. He even promised that he will give all of his salary to me next month. Sorry, Prince. If you think lowly of me eyeing your salary or use you to buy HDB, it’s a HUGE mistake. Firstly, our basic salary is on par and with my commission and allowance, mine is even higher than you. Secondly, I don’t want to manage your salary. I have my own and you have your own. Separate. I already have difficulty to manage my own finance let alone manage your finance.
OMG another nonsense, he even blamed to me that I ruin his initial JB house plan! there’s one time he planned to buy cheaper house in JB and commute to work in SG weekday and go back JB over the weekend. and he said, maybe...just maybe, at that point of time if we bought JB house together, he wouldn’t trap himself in this casino gambling all his money away because he has commitment in JB. (see the blaming pattern!? Blame every situation, everyone but not himself) And you know what I replied to him? I replied, it’s just your excuse! Because firstly, it’s not practical that we commute daily from JB to SG to work, with normal people condition, it is fucking tiring to wake up 4am and stuck jam in the custom to commute to SG daily. the more impossible with his aorta condition whereby he can't get exhausted and needs daily medication to maintain his bypass and blood pressure. Plus, if he has JB house commitment, he will definitely use this excuse of wanting to pay off house loan quickly that’s why go in casino to gamble all the money. I DON'T BUY HIS EXCUSE ANYMORE.
Prince Kedah, If you happen to read this, yeah, this is my message for you,
"I'M GLAD THAT I LEFT YOU AND MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE.
I'M HAPPIEST THAN EVER NOW"
Thank you and hope we don't meet again.