Tuesday, 20 August 2019

Hello, I'm back!

Hello, I'm back!

My last post was about January 2016 and now it's already August 2019!

It has been a hiatus for about 3 years plus and I really miss writing! In those past years, I have been going thru thick and thin in this life....time flies very fast!

I think I will start again my journey in blogging, just to share experience and to commemorate my milestones of what I left of since January 2016.  Hence, in this blogpost, it will be a quick update on what's happened in my life in between January 2016 until now.

Let's go year by year....


May 2016~Went to Australia for the first time. Thanks to my friend, Nita who hosted me and provided me accommodation during my 2 weeks stay there in Melbourne. We did a lot of unimaginable things like road trip to Great Ocean Road, fly domestically to Gold Coast, jungle trekking, hugs koala and feeding wild kangaroos. And many memories created with her :-)

July 2016~ I left my job of 6 years in Ingram Micro, immediately got a job in KDDI which is super cool because I didnt expect at all. I remembered someone from Japanese agency contacted me via email when I was still in Melbourne, sent resume online and when I was back to SG, the next day immediately went interview in the morning and afternoon straight away got the job!
Same month, I went to Kuching for Hopechurch retreat and it's the first time going out with LG overseas.

August 2016~ Starting my new relationship with a guy from church. Happy lovey dovey moment as a new couple as we were still exploring and getting closer each days. For what I know, he's broke and have lots of bank-debt due to failure in his own business. And at that point of time, he's trying to clear his debt that's why I accepted him blindly. Little did I know the accumulated bank-debt was due to his bad habit which leads to improper financial management issues....

End of year 2016~ Celebrated Christmas in SG. Overall 2016 was a good year to me :-) Thank you, 2016.

Year 2017 was the year for me to focus on my career. In my new job, it was very challenging and yet so exciting! And I need to speak Japanese, too :-)
As far as I remembered my office located in CBD area and almost bankrupt everyday because the expensive lunch!
In the beginning of the year, I went to his hometown for the first time for CNY. Visited the highest tower in Alor Star and met his big family back in hometown for the first time.

Midyear, I couldn't really recall what happened exactly in 2017 but as far as I could remember, in my relationship, everyday was like a battle for me: quarrel, life-style adjustment, give in and take, break up, made up, repent, continue again: it's like a sin-cycle.

Bad things happened when he admitted to hospital due to Aorta dissection (this was happened in March 2017) and he lost his job immediately after recovery from illness (July 2017)

Although bad times happened, we also hadgood memories together: uncountable JB trip, Genting trip (mostly Casinos and gamble is involved), Penang/Langkawi trip, USS+Sea Aquarium trip, and many more outings with/without his family.

I left my Japanese job and start a new job in American MNC company, after got scouted by one of their Director. Starting job in Westcon and still keep in touch with some of the ex-colleagues till date :-) Unfortunately, this job was only lasted for 9 months :-(
My career at that point of time, was so challenging, I was asked to choose between 2 options: internal transfer or leave. And my relationship was getting tougher each days. Overall 2017 was a bad year for me :-(

End of year 2017, I brought him back to my hometown to introduce to my family. He upset because there was one occasion whereby my mom told him nicely not to gamble and waste his life away and start to focus on marriage and building family with me. It's not my mom's fault because she has the best interest in me and she wants someone dependable who can take care of me. On the same trip, I got call interview by (now) my boss and got new job four months later :-)

Beginning of year 2018: We celebrated CNY in SG due to his sister giving birth. Meantime, I got into new job in April 2018 and found Indonesian community in Schneider and we got along pretty well. Although they know that I'm in relationship with this Malaysian guy, some of them don't really like him I dont know why.
Once bitten, twice shy. Even though we loved each other, we were too similar age. We didn't mean what we said and we didn't say what we meant. We are adults but we acted like kids. Lots of mind-game controlling, hide and seek, cold shoulder games, prejudice, which was very exhausting.
Other than our incompatibility issues, he also has hanky-panky KTV and gambling addiction which most of the time caused argument and fight big time.

Midyear, actually I was already very tired and wanted to quit. However, I still kept on pressing down because I have faith in him. But in the same time, I was so dissapointed because I wasn't involved in their annual CNY gathering in their hometown, he asked me to book my own flight and directly meet there whereby all of them are driving by car. Secondly, they were not include me in their NZ trip due to limited space in a rented car. Then it's okay never mind I can understand. After all, I was quite okay then I decided to book flight ticket to go back my own hometown for CNY2019...which I think it's acceptable rather than spending my CNY alone in SG.

End of year 2018, my sister came for her annual visit to SG. I need to bring her around SG and I was so busy almost everyday catching up with her. And actually he just done his appendix operation so I just leave him to recuperate at home. Little did I know, he actually lied to me, lift up his casino ban and went inside casino and lost a lot of money. Btw, it's not the first time also he went inside the casino and owe bank money and lost big time, so when he came clean with me, I was like, oh okay, nothing, I'm just numbed. The worst is, we just had new year celebration at my house and it's just 2nd day of 2019 he became uncontactable many nights and went back in casino again to win back his losses. I was speechless, I felt like in a dark tunnel which has no hope in 2019. It was so dark.

I have this trauma that if I cant contact him, either he went to KTV or casino behind my back.

So I decided that this is my last straw and decided to quit.

I think it's a good time to call it quit also, since it's new year of 2019, I would want my new year start right and get away from this toxic relationship thing and start a new.

It was the most painful and yet the best decision ever!

Okay. That's all for today blogpost. Thanks for reading.

I will continue the next chapter of my life in the next blogpost :-)

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